12 May

Chills Down My Spine: Ten Memory Shadow Boxes For Memory Care

by Jon Katz

I was rattled last week; there were so many pent-up needs and requests from the Mansion and their residents, I spent a lot of money. But then, I keep telling myself that’s what it’s for.

I’ve caught up, I think, but tonight I got a message that captured my imagination and my heart, and I couldn’t say now. Tania Woodward, a Mansion aide who fights very hard for the residents, including those in memory care.

At the Mansion, the struggle for memory is one of the most poignant and touching things I ever see. Tania messaged me tonight about something she has been working on for a long time.

I would love to get memory shadow boxes, something we will hang outside of each room (in Memory Care) that permits the residents here and their families to place items reflecting things the residents enjoyed throughout their lives. We are seeking assistance in purchasing 10 of these shadow boxes if possible,” she wrote.

There is no way on earth that I could sleep if I didn’t agree to get those memory boxes. My first instinct was to buy five now and five later, but I learned that they cost only $18 apiece. With shipping, etc., more than that.

I never heard of shadow memory boxes, but there they are, a click away on Amazon.

I immediately bought six, and they are being shipped to the Mansion. Then I couldn’t sleep. This is such a beautiful idea; I spend many hours reading with people who are losing or have lost their memories.

As Tania explained it to me, the boxes will hand in the doorways of each room in Memory Care. For those suffering memory loss, the boxes will help them find their rooms by looking for the box on the wall and seeing what memories they can remember.

Even in the stages of Alzheimer,” she wrote, “some memory could be stuck in their minds as if they can go back to their 50’s by putting something in their memory box that would help them recognize that time in their lives.”

I did several reading experiments with Joanie when she was at the Mansion, she had suffered memory loss, and when one memory popped up,  it would often lead to another.

She would smile and become radiant in those moments, remembering the life that had become lost to her.

The shrinks call it Brain Stimulation, something people in assisted and memory care rarely get. Good for Tania; she deserves all the support in the world for that idea.

Memory is precious,  memory is life, and people’s struggle to keep theirs or recall them is poignant and very powerful.

I’ve heard good things about these memory stimulations; the boxes are basically an enclosed glass-front display case containing an object or objects presented in a thematic grouping with artistic or personal significance.

What a beautiful gift Tania has thought of for the residents in memory care. In my own work, I’ve seen that specific memories can often trigger other memories, even if they can’t always be recalled in detail. Sometimes, they bring out a smile.

I’m ordering the other four tonight, and I’m not asking for any help. I want to buy this one myself. Thanks, Tania, for turning to me.  It is time to keep moving forward, not to worry about what comes.

6 Comments

  1. I worked as a paralegal for 30 years and the lawyers I worked for specialized in wills and estates so I dealt with many families whose loved ones had various types of dementia. I remember one 80+ year old lady who was convinced she was back on the family farm in Switzerland. Her family and the staff at the facility were so kind to her. She loved to tell stories about the animals on the farm and the chores she had to do. She was happy and content to live in that world of 70 years ago and the staff made her feel special by listening to her stories with genuine interest. If only all seniors could be guaranteed to receive such loving and compassionate care. It made her final years happy and for that the family was very grateful.

    1. Barbara, thanks for your concern. I’m sure the Amish could make them, but I don’t see why they should. I’m happy to buy them myself, it’s only fitting that I spent my own money, which I often do, since I ask others to spend theirs. And this is a sweet cause. I do it whenever I can afford it, like the people in the Army Of Good. The Amish owe me nothing, Moise and his family do many things for me in exchange for those few rides to the bus station. I don’t need them to do my work, they have plenty of their own.

  2. Wonderful idea! My daughter works in a memory care facility and stories of the residents there always touch my heart. Small suggestion, Tania may have to find a way to secure the boxes, (the ones I have open from the front) it’s common for some people with memory issues to take things, unknowingly disturbing what has been left out. I am sure Tania knows this and will plan for it.
    Bless the work you do Jon. Thank you for all the kindness to others.

  3. We just brought my my home from assisted living because they said we needed to move her to memory care or take her home she has now been home for a week but I’m not sure how beneficial it is she is high functioning that she can dress herself prepare meals and clean but forgets where she us is she ready for memory care we can’t as a family do it ourselves we need in home care then but for her what is the better option

    1. Both my parents developed dementia in their 80’s. I would visit them in their home, and had no idea that there were issues. Their doctor ended up calling me and letting me know they needed help. After trying to care for them at home, I ended up moving them to a memory care unit. It was the right move for them. They enjoyed all the activities and being around other people. I would think a more introverted person might be more comfortable at home. Check out the facilities in your area. If they just have residents sitting in the halls, and no activities, look elsewhere.

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