“He allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.” ~

Gabriel Garcia Marquez –  Love in the Time of Cholera.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez was my favorite writer for almost all my life; he died a few years ago in Mexico City. He was a brilliant novelist and a Nobel Prize winner, and he was Fidel Castro’s best friend while they were both alive.

Marquez, who was always suspicious of America,  a reliable supporter of Latin American dictators, would fly into Havana during baseball season to watch the New  York Yankees play; they both loved the team.

I often imagined them sitting in Castro’s house watching TV and getting drunk. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall.

I also have the conviction that I was not born once and for all those years ago but that life has obliged me over and over again to give birth to myself.

In 2000, I decided to leave the ordinary and familiar behind, move to the country, and build a new life. I feel I’ve given birth to myself a half-dozen times since.

Life does not allow us to settle and be still if we want to be alive and have a purpose.

A shrink told me ten years ago that he had never seen a man my age undertake as much change as I did. He should see me now.

In 2016, at the onset of the great division in America, I was reborn again; I founded the Army Of Good. And it was good. Moving to the new chaos far was another. I’ve always known there are more to come.

This week also felt like a rebirth. I took on my diabetes and brought it under control, and my new brace is helping me to walk again, although I need to wait a month or two before I can walk with a brace on more than a few hours a day.

For a long time, I wasn’t sure either of those things would be possible for me. Rebirth is not just about material things. It is also a spiritual experience, a sense of being renewed and almost resurrected. I feel like I’ve spiritually died more than once and often need to continue with rebirth.

Life is neither knowable nor controllable. Spirituality is not about living a life free of worry or pain; it’s about finding the grace to deal with it honestly, courageously, and compassionately.

I’m even learning to be compassionate with myself.

I hope I will never abandon the idea of rebirth, not at any age or for any reason.

I feel like I’m just getting started.