I thought we had a remarkable talk in Meditation Class at the Mansion. I’ve never seen the class so into a subject and eager to discuss it. We often write off elderly behavior and indifference as senility or memory loss.
Still, I’m learning that boredom and lack of stimulation often leave older people dozing during classes, talks, and conversations.
Of my dozen students yesterday, only one fell asleep, and she has been heavily medicated for an illness.
I brought two books to read from. The first part of the meditation class consists of my reading from different books and then inviting discussions and comments. The class becomes more vocal weekly, willing to express opinions and challenge orthodoxy. It’s both fun and exciting- and rewarding.
This is work I have been called to do and love to do.
The residents need to be challenged, not spoon-fed, encouraged to work, read and play independently, not only in groups where they learn to let others – teachers and aides – do most of the work.
The portrait above is of Bill, someone I admire and talk to often at the Mansion. He’s very interested in meditation. He was the only man who came to the first session of my men’s Group meeting. We talked for over an hour.
The first book was a gift from my friend Ron Dotson, who visited the class yesterday. Timothy Keller’s Kebook is called Making Sense Of G; it is an argument for the idea of God and why it is more popular and necessary than ever before. The Second is called The Gift Of Years by Joan Chittisst; it is the best book I’ve read on the meaning and opportunity of aging.
I read this passage from Chittister’s book yesterday: “The major task of life in this period,” she wrote, “may simply be not to fear the fear. Every sign of change in me, the very things I fear to lose, are a call for new beginnings. If I have lost the energy and ability to walk long distances, for example, I must find something to do that I will love just as passionately, learn from just as deeply.”
I asked the class to list the things they enjoy doing and got a wide range of answers. Some still walk every other; others listen to music, read favorite authors, and tutor their children and great-grandchildren. Some have taken up painting, and others love to sit outside and listen to the birds.
I talked about my spiritual searching and my following the teachings of Jesus Christ in my life without worshipping him or the Christian God. It’s complex. I read Keller’s book also. He wrote about how Christianity and the things it preached – hope, beauty, love, honor, suffering, and virtue – were ideas that barely existed in the world.
No one at the time believed all people were entitled to equal rights.
The Morning Sky
The Greeks, often credited with introducing democracy, did not believe all people had rights, only the wealthy and the powerful. Christianity introduced the idea of sacrifice, redemption, and forgiveness. He argued that Secular reason and faith do not provide a basis for embracing sacrifice, redemption, and forgiveness.
As we can see from reading the news, the decline of the Christian-Judeo ethos, for all its failings and flowers, also brought the downfall of honesty, compassion, and empathy for the poor and vulnerable. The class is most excited by discussions about aging as a time of rebirth, freedom, and renewal. Aging brings loss but also opportunity.
We have begun talking about just what those opportunities are.
What the aging must not accept, writes Chittister, is the sense of diminishment that our culture associates with older people. We are often physically finished, she said, but not spiritually.
We had a lively talk about this. I said growing older, like dying, can be sad. But not only sad. There are many new opportunities to live a whole and meaningful life.
I’ve given everyone in the class a copy of The Gift Of Years, and I’ll make the same offer in a week or so for Making Sense Of God.
I’ve been asked to fun money for lunch for the Mansion trip to the County Fair in a Few Weeks. I’ve also been asked to fund the purchase of 35 cotton/polyester T-shirts for the residents to wear to a festival they are planning for Fall at the Mansion.
The Mansion Fund is low, as usual. If you wish, you can contribute via Paypal, [email protected] or Venmo, Jon Katz@Jon-Katz-13 or by check, Jon Katz, Mansion Fund, P.O. Box 205, State Route 55, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.
You say “heavily medicated for an illness” but over- and improper medication is notorious in nursing homes. The antipsychotics are often given for minor “illnesses”, violations of house rules or other trivial matters in order to silence the resident. Some states are requiring now that there must be prior WRITTEN consent to give each such medications.
Worse, the drugs cause delirium which weakens the body’s major organs further leading to earlier death.
See https://www.aarp.org/health/brain-health/global-council-on-brain-health/delirium/
Bradley, I am not a physician, and don’t judge or second guess the Mansion doctors. Some medications are appropriate, and some are not. It’s not for me to make that judgment, nor you. This is not the proper form for a debate on the subject. You weren’t here; you didn’t see the patient or the doctor and could not possibly know enough about the illness to have an informed opinion. We don’t do long-distance diagnosing here, a favorite activity on social media, but a noxious and dangerous one.