“We have not come from anywhere, and we will not go anywhere. When conditions are sufficient, we manifest in a particular way. When conditions are insufficient, we no longer manifest that way. That doesn’t mean that we don’t exist. If we’re afraid of death, it’s because we don’t understand that things do not die. There’s a tendency for people to think that they can eliminate what they don’t want. But destroying something doesn’t reduce that person to nothing. They killed Mahatma Gandhi. They shot Martin Luther King, Jr., But these people are still among us today. They continue to exist in many forms.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh, from the book Fear.
My own experience is to begin to live above my fear, not in its grip.
Fear is a geography, a space to cross. It is no more real than our idea of death itself. Fear motivates me; it challenges me to think differently and look at life and death in new ways. We are insignificant in the scope of things; we live while we can and die when we must. I look down on death now; since we never speak of it, it is difficult to come to terms with it.
But I’m less and less afraid of it. I refuse to fear my life or my death. I want to live them both.
Face to face, it stops being frightening and just becomes life. The people I love will not vanish and disappear. They will live on in many ways. I believe the same is true for me.
“When we look deeply into our self – into our body, our feelings, and our perceptions – when we look into the mountains, the rivers, we have to be able to see and touch the nature of no-birth and no-death in them.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
According to Hindus we were never born and we do not die —- this body is not really us — it’s our consciousness that remains and it is eternal. Nothing else is real, and everything has an expiration date. Only that which cannot change is real. There is only now, the present moment., no past no future. Very difficult for Western minds to grasp. and only love matters. The 15th century poet Kabir says ‘the flute of the universe plays without ceasing and its sound is love’…..
My mother passed away last summer. She taught me so much in her death. She was 95 years old, paralyzed on one side from a stroke long ago, living in her wheel chair with positivity and independence until a few years ago. She decided that 95 was a good time to complete her story. She slowly stopped eating and I was able to be with her each day for those 2 weeks. We laughed, talked candidly, and she she felt no fear or pain. She seemed to approach the end of life with the same curiosity and acceptance that she had lived her physically compromised life. When I told her that the doctor said if she was uncomfortable in any way, she he could have medicine to numb the pain. Her response? “Oh no, I don’t want to miss this! You know…” leaning close to me, “I’ve never done this before!” I am grateful for her example. May I accept death with the grace and openness that she did.
What a wonderful story. I am hoping to be able to do the same, and to make it to 95.