I know now that almost everyone carries a great, instinctive, ingrained, and habitual fear inside  – fear of money, sickness, death, losing the people we love, change, failure, and being alone. I’ve been afraid of all those things, a part of being human.

In America, as in other countries, we now add our politics to the list of things that frighten us. We no longer take peace and the transfer of power, our promises,  compromise, and the welfare of everyone, for granted.

Mr. Trump hovers over us like a giant dark cloud, his followers living in their own dark and angry world. He’s the dybuk who won’t go away or can’t be forgotten.

We are afraid of what he and his followers might do if elected. They are promising revenge for being rejected and punishment for their opponents.

There is not much Joy in the MAGA movement unless you count crushing all opposition into oblivion, as Trump Scholar Ron DeSantis has vowed to do (push people like me right into the river) if elected. I am encouraged by the rejection of such unthinking hatred.

In this sense, I owe a great deal to Donald Trump and his MAGA movement.

He has frightened me and got me to think almost simultaneously. He has awakened my dozing sense of patriotism and realization that freedom always has a price.

I didn’t wish to be like him or his followers. I needed to deal with this fear positively.

In so doing, I’ve managed a hat trick. When I think of Mr. Trump, I can’t help but think of good.

Political leaders ought to inspire and comfort the people who depend on them. That idea and respect for compassion and truth have been discarded.

The politicians of our time compete to see which one can scare us enough to write a check.

Mr. Trump has loomed over us like a giant, angry balloon for years; he has inspired and awakened me. He will be around for a while, and I don’t plan to be angry and aggrieved all that time.

Whatever one might call the MAGA movement, fun isn’t one of the things that comes to mind. I’m grateful that I don’t hate people who disagree with me, but I was also uneasy about being hated in return. I didn’t wish to be angry or frightened or get death messages for years, but I can live with it.

In 2016, Trump scared and angered so many people – myself included – that I launched what came to be called the Army Of Good, a loosely run movement of good people all over the country drawn to the idea that it is better to do good than argue about what good is.

It was not about hating anyone. It was about doing good to feel good.

The group follows an unspoken rule against arguing about politics and doing some good instead. We seek out small acts of great kindness and have helped many people.

We don’t hate,  argue, lie,  or traffic in hate and conspiracy. We do well with the method of St. Terese, who preached the idea of small acts of great kindness. That is our unofficial motto.

That work has been transformative for me. It spurred me to finally overcome my fear, learn about it, and train my soul to see beyond it.

I’ve suffered from extreme anxiety almost all of my life, but Donald Trump kicked me in the butt and got me to deal with it finally.

Simply put, I have learned and am still learning how to transform fear into love and even happiness. For me, that is a life-changer. And Donald Trump is my inspiration.

He helped me see the alternatives to anger and fear. Pain is inevitable; suffering is a choice.

I am no longer afraid of Mr. Trump and his movement. I won’t let anyone mess up my head that way or take away my hard work to love and be fulfilled.

It’s almost magical, turning fear into love.

Several things helped me learn how to turn fear into something positive – doing good, patience, faith, and hope. Mr. Trump brought me to spirituality and its teachings of hope, love, empathy, and care for others.

The angrier he got, the more good I did. Instead of feeling angry and frightened, I felt good and fulfilled.

The great fear scholar Thich Nhat Hanh (Fear, Essential Wisdom For Getting Through The Storm) wrote in his book on fear that sorrow, anxiety, and depression are like a “kind of garbage.”

He wrote that these bits of garbage are part of real life, and to understand them, I had to work hard to look deeply into my nature to fear less and turn the waste into flowers, something I am successfully learning how to do.

In practicing how to turn fear into something beautiful, I decided not to throw any garbage out or ignore it but to face it and learn from it, not dispose of it or deny it.

Fear, even Donald Trump’s kind of fear, was something I could transform into learning, growing, and changing and learning and living without fear, without despairing of my life.

I decided to pursue a spiritual path, a movement that has been working for centuries to promote peace, kindness, and self-awareness.

It’s not for me to tell others who to follow and what to believe. We are all responsible for what we do. I don’t want to be pulled into the all-encompassing fray.

It’s quite the opposite of political squabbling and hatred. We don’t hurl insults at strangers online; we don’t threaten them with death or smother them in conspiracy. We do good.

It turns out that I am good at doing good, much better than arguing about good or hating people who differ from me and are different from me.

I know now that I don’t need to be afraid of anger, fear, or despair because the transformation into something better and even beautiful is always possible.

I am also mindful of my love for Maria, many at the Mansion, and many brave refugee children fighting for a new life in America. I have many blessings to count and many things to be grateful for. I don’t want to be part of a joyless social or political movement, left or right. I don’t wish to be cruel.

When I feel irritation, anger, or grievance, I recognize the feeling and practice my tools: mantra, meditation, silence, contemplation, deep breathing, and mindfulness. To my surprise, these tools have worked to change my life.

Once uttered, my mantras and my breath, once deepened, can change my feelings.

These formulas are not magic; they require hard work and concentration with body and soul in mind.

And they work when followed faithfully.

They have effectively watered the seeds of happiness and peace of mind in exchange for fear, suffering, and loneliness.

What a great deal for me, my soul. So the specter of the MAGAS is upon us again, like the huns heading for Rome.

My choice is to be unafraid and prepared. That depends on me, not him or anyone else.