17 April

Training For Happiness. It Comes From Inside, Not Outside.

by Jon Katz

Little by little, and about ten years ago,  I started training myself for life, for happiness. It’s not easy in America today.

Every day, it seems, Mr. Trump is bitterly complaining about how people are picking on him and how he is suffering while billions of people all over the world suffer every day.

I’ve never heard him say a word about them.

I know people are frightened of him and see him as about to wreck our democracy.

Whenever I see him complaining about being picked on, I see a broken person, and I think of Veruca from Willy Wonka, the Chocolate Factory (she was turned into a blueberry), and of every middle school playground I was ever in.

(In the photo, Maria and her admirers gather while she feeds the animals. It makes her happy.) It was a happy day.

In America, we are taught that happiness means a lot of money, having things we don’t need, and stuffing millions of dollars away for old age (so it can go to hospitals and drug companies in seconds).

We are taught that happiness is a college degree, a well-paying job, a TV job, physical beauty,  a burgeoning IRA, living in Hollywood, or a turn as a CEO.

But in my experience, these people suffer the most and are unhappy and stressed. It was a shock to me when I worked in television to see those beautiful and revered anchors; they were among the most unhappy people I have ever known.

I admit was one of them. I learned my lesson.

Those people are not happy, and I think neither is Donald Trump, a billionaire. He seems miserable to me. Is this really who those evangelicals want their children to grow up to be?

I have learned that happiness is not something I could find at the end of the road; it is on the road itself. It just doesn’t come from power, money, or publicity. Just look at those poor souls in Congress.

Happiness is here, where I am now. Happiness came from knowing who and what I wanted to be and working to do it. Happens requires training, experimentation, and practice, at least for me.

Once I was happy but made much less money and was deemed much less successful and powerless, I soon found love and happiness. I think I learned that I get what I am looking for in life, not what the greedy and angry culture around me told me to want.

They were wrong. Just look around, at the news, or on social media. It often feels like our country and the world is having a breakdown. But I know a lot of happy people. I trained for it, just like a runner trains for the marathon.

Being happy does not mean a life without pain or suffering. It means a life with joy, love, and compassion in it.

No one escapes pain, but few train for happiness.

How many happy people do you see in Congress, medicine, police departments, banks, or the top of the corporate heap?

How many wealthy people do you know who seem pleased with those fat paychecks or giant yachts messing up the ocean worldwide?

I’ll be happy to die on my farm without ever having set foot in a giant yacht.

In my life, I’ve learned that happiness comes from the inside, not the outside.

The less I have, the more I am. My life is not perfect, and I know fear and anger. But on most mornings, I wake up giving thanks for happiness, the fundamental goal of a spiritual life.

I trained for that. I trained inside.

 

4 Comments

  1. Jon, I loved this, training for happiness! We’ve been trained for the grind mostly by others. It takes intention and consistent work to unlearn those old beliefs. Like all skills, practice, especially when I don’t want to do it, is what matters most. The only way I’ve been able to change my beliefs is thru the practice of new ones. And even though I may go back to an old belief, it’s no longer comfortable and feels bad internally. So, my body can lead better than my brain. Kinda like muscle memory.

  2. What a wonderful photograph! It illustrates perfectly that aura of love and trust that permeates Bedlam Farm. Seeing Maria lovingly pet Zip, a cat, on his back in front of Zinnia, a dog (and they’re reported to be enemies), with chickens nearby (which are supposed to be afraid of both cats and dogs), and Fate at the gate, waiting patiently for her chance to “herd” the sheep and donkeys in the barnyard that are placidly eating breakfast, is a wonderful illustration of the paradise you and Maria have created. Thanks for letting us see it.

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