In meditation and my new breathing exercises, I am becoming a better friend to myself and my body as I get to know both, perhaps for the first time in my life. I’m making the time to do it, and I do it every day.
In my spiritual practice, I’m developing a friendship with myself so I can learn how to change and become more peaceful, gentler, and patient. That also helps my writing. Better late than never.
My decision a few years ago to move more spiritually has been good for me. I have more work to do, but I am better and happier with others and myself.
I’ve found a way to change, to face up to pains, memories, delusions, and other behaviors that aren’t good for me or for the people around me, and to my surprise, this work, along with my therapy, has been more successful than I imagined, even though it is far from over.
If I want to reconcile with people, family, or those who have hurt me, I have to take care of myself first and be a better friend to me. I’m learning to live in harmony with the world.
That takes patience and some grinding and painful work. How can I know or listen to anyone else if I cannot listen to myself? If I can’t be a friend to myself—I haven’t liked myself very much for much of my life—then how can I listen to anyone else, love them, and be a good friend or husband?
In our world, there are always people waiting to hurt me and others, and I am learning how to live with them and accept them without hurting myself. Life is not about how you spell but how you feel. I rarely get any messages from the outside world about that, but many are inside of me. It’s a long trip, with lots of turns and bumps.
Maria has given me a powerful motive to do this work – I love her very much and want her to love me in return. So far, so good, and I mean to keep it that way. It’s work that never really stops.
That means listening to me and changing when I need to. So I can listen to her and other people. I’m going through a period of fundamental change, evaluating what I need and want. That means recognizing my suffering so I can live in harmony with myself, my relationships, and the rest of the world.
I’m excited about this work and I’ll keep sharing it, whether it’s success or failure. Thanks for listening to me.
Jon, following your hero’s journey has felt like an honor for me. I’ve been allowed to see the intentional work and efforts of another human to become their authentic self; along the way, I’ve been inspired to do the same. If we don’t evolve, we become bitter and cranky. That feels like walls closing in on me – I want to be expansive, open and willing. This takes some courage to see things from other perspectives. I wasn’t always able to do this, and got dragged to it, kicking and screaming like an unruly toddler. Once I stopped fighting, I could actually look in other directions; I realized how much suffering I was creating – for myself and others. That was a hard pill to swallow.
I am grateful to people like you, Karla, for putting up with me, understanding me, and supporting me as I try to get better and healthier. That kind of empathy is not as common as we might hope…thanks, jon