9 May

Life Update, Personal: Grazing Is One Of Those Grounding Things. Working Through Side Effects, Loving The Farm, Time Off From Therapy

by Jon Katz

In the morning, I love to look outside and see the sheep and donkeys grazing; there is something iconic and peaceful about it in a world sometimes drowning in information nobody likes to hear, or I don’t want to hear. Somebody must enjoy it, or there wouldn’t be much of it.

I’m feeling off today; I started taking the now-famous Ozempic, which was created for diabetics but was taken over by Weight Watchers. It took me a while to get, and I was warned of side effects, especially for the first month. The warnings were correct, at least for once.

I’m sticking with this medicine; it is proven to be very good for diabetics, and my doctor said I should ride out the side effects; they usually receded after a couple of weeks. I have to suck it up; it won’t kill me, and it may just make me healthier.  There are always risks and costs (and often rewards) for change.

I’m taking my doctor’s advice and staying with it. I’ve been there before and can feel my body adjusting to it.

I went to the food pantry this morning and was dizzy and uncomfortable, but I took photos and wrapped my packages with Maria.  I love doing that work. I’m into wildflower photos today. Maria has been bringing some back from her walk in the woods, and I love the pictures I get from them.

I went to the Dollar Store and bought some sleep apnea mask cleaning wipes for two dollars. I’ve been spending five times that much on Amazon. I also bought cat food for my Amish neighbors; they have a kitten. I let them pay me back for the cat food, but I don’t take money for the food for Tina, one of my favorite dogs in the world. I buy my tissues there now for $1 per box. They are perfect tissues.

I’ve given up on cannabis and am taking Melatonin tablets at night; they are helping me get to sleep and stay there for a while. They are a lot cheaper than cannabis. I’m doing well at figuring out what I need and what I don’t wish to spend.

I’m going slow today; it is a great lift to help stuff packages with food that comes in part from the Army of Good. It gives me perspective.

Today is another critical day; I am taking some time off from my therapy for a few months, and I’m doing very well and feeling almost no anxiety. I want to see if I can do that by myself and if it’s for real. I think so. My life seems to be changing constantly, and I hope I never stop, but I would like to stay still and breathe and soak it all in.

I’ve depended on an excellent therapist for years; it’s time to stand on my own, use what I’ve learned, and see how I deal with it. It’s a big step for me in a considerable time. That’s a massive change for me. Just as Maria did, Peggie saved my life.

The last couple of months have been a turning point for me. I’ve finally come to terms with how to deal with the growing social media hostility, which liberated me from anger; I’m not a fighter anymore.

I’m learning how to handle all the bad news. I have felt no panic for some time, and I greatly appreciate my life with Maria. It is divine to love someone and be loved back. Some days, I feel like I’m living a Taylor Twist song.

And I have no words for my love of photography, excitement over the pictures I take, and my response to them. What a gift for me at this point in my life.

My foot is good, my heart is firm, my Dyslexia is in hand (I got some new editing software created for Dyslexia; it helps and is an asshole killer), and I find my work at the pantry care especially meaningful. The Army Of Good is a miracle.

I don’t waste much time anymore worrying about my life; I like just living it. It’s always possible to change.

Thanks once more for your support and encouragement. It has meant a lot to me.

7 Comments

  1. Your insights and honesty have been beautiful and inspiring. Just a note, I can relate to the early side effects of Ozempic, they were uncomfortable. I have been taking it for over a year and am very happy on it now. It has really helped me feel when I am actually hungry and I can push away my plate before I finish because I have had enough. Good luck.

  2. Jon, at our age we have accumulated many skills to survive, our knowledge continues to evolve and often we reach into that overflowing toolbox of coping mechanisms and find that “I’ve got this, I know how to lovingly care for myself and others. I know how to calm my thoughts, and how to appreciate the beauty and joy of living.”
    As the advertisement goes “YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY.”
    Your personal growth has been phenomenal to read about and experience from afar.
    You are an integral part of my daily routine and I have come to appreciate and value your process and your progress.
    Thank you!

  3. Interesting to see how you progress and learn every day that goes by. Happy that you stay on top of your health. You have about ten years on me but you give me something to look forward to.
    Stay healthy & keep us informed. It’s an education to us all.
    Thanks again.
    Steve in Alabama

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