Search Results for: Cyberbegging

Yesterday, I launched a $3,000 funding project for a new Monochrome black-and-white digital camera. I was almost instantly rewarded with some generous contributions – $700 in just a few hours Monday via Paypal, checks on the way to my Post Office Box.  I don’t know about today.

I was not comfortable doing a crowdsourcing project for a $15,000 Leica camera, it just felt like too much for me now, and perhaps for you,  I learned there were good alternatives and was happy to choose one. I will always dream of a Leica, but appreciate what I have.

Thank you for your support.

The first message I got was from Chris who wrote to say she was sending me some American Express Traveler’s Checks, she is housebound now and does not expect to use them. My photographs, she said, have brought her joy and comfort to her and she wanted to contribute to my new camera. It was, she said, the least she could do. Such messages sometimes bring tears.

There were also some different kinds of comments, and I have always believed if you share the good, then you have to share the bad. That is what it means to be authentic.

I got this e-mail from Steven, who announced he was quitting the blog after reading it and my books for six or seven years:

“I’ve been a reader of your blog since about 2009 and of your books since before that. I quit the blog today and I wanted to let you know why. Cyberbegging and so-called bankruptcy. You should be ashamed to ask people for money because you cannot manage it. You certainly seem to have enough money when it comes to vacations to Disney, Cape Cod, NYC, Inns in Vermont, movies. Cameras that cost more than some peoples’ cars, and then you have the nerve to ask the public to give you more when you run out? Insane. And now crowd funding a $7,000 camera you’ve just got to have. Doesn’t your $8,000 Canon have a monochrome mode? You’re living your life off the sweat of taxpayers and I’m tired of watching that spectacle. For you the internet is the equivalent of telemarketing, late night TV evangelism and sitting on the corner with a tin cup.”

I’m not sure how the taxpayers got into this, I am not aware that any are paying for me, but I did read and consider Steven’s message, it echoed some of my own thoughts at times and surely, the thoughts of some others.  I’m sure Steven speaks for many, as does Chris. That is the nature of the world, of a life in the open. I guess I have to be honest, like most artists and writers, I have been begging for money my whole life, mostly from publishers.

I do not feel shame, Steven, and my  bankruptcy was all too real. And no, my camera does not have a Monochrome mode.

I am actually begging my publisher right now to get the money I am owed for my next book, hopefully in time to pay my taxes. I have done as little begging as I could manage in my life, but I do intend to survive and hopefully, to grow. Steven is correct that I cannot manage all of this camera equipment and repairs by myself, I remember that William Faulkner borrowed money from his neighbors to pay for a  new typewriter to finish a book.

He wrote that he was embarrassed, but never ashamed.

Once in a while, I actually get some money.  That’s how I got the camera I use now, as Steven remembers. I expect this project will be successful, and I am very glad it is for $3,000 and not for $15,000. Some people suggested a new camera is a “luxury,” I get that but it is surely not a luxury to me, as my wife pointed out so eloquently on her blog. It is so wonderful to be known.

Still, I thought reading Steven’s message – he writes well – that it is possible to read about someone’s life and work for years and not know them. I fear this is a failure of writing on my part. I do not see myself in his message.

Maria saw it all happen. Photography transformed me, it helped me to see the world anew. So does every lens and camera I get. And what could be more meaningful that. That is no toy, no luxury. I never took a photo in my life until I met her, and I can no longer bear to move anywhere without a camera. Photography has given me my true voice, as much or more as writing.

I’m not sure how cyber-begging differs from plain old fund-raising, but I know crowdsourcing is a radical new idea, and I support it and do not apologize for it. No one has a gun to their heads. People can contribute or not, that is the beauty of it, and just as no one should be pressured to contribute, neither should they be ridiculed for it.

As my friend Ed Gulley said, people can give a buck or not, enough said. But in our world, of course, there is no such thing as enough said.

I think this question of always scrambling for money is in the nature of the creative life. I would wager that Steven has a job and a paycheck that comes every week.

I don’t know any writers with money, or any artists either. We all swallow pride and circumstance from time to time, we all dance for our supper, whether we like to admit it or not.  When we talk to one another, money comes up all of the time, it is in the tapestry of our work and lives. Once, writers had rich patrons who supported their work. How strange.

All I can do is  tell the truth about it and let people decide for themselves whether my work is important enough to help support.

I respect Steven’s opinions and wish him well, if I were to ask him one question it would be this: in all of these years, looking at all of those photos and words, did he ever consider what it cost to produce them? Did he ever offer to pay for the blogs he was enjoying or consider what it costs to take photographs and publish them every day?

Sometimes I feel like the dairy farmers who constantly wonder that everyone expects to find milk and food in the market, but nobody wants to know where  it came from or what it took to get it there.

I think the story of life is that you must find in yourself that which moves you.  And you must do it.

But Chris’s message is just as much a part of the story as Steven’s. Both voices are powerful and distinct. I feel a closeness and connection with so many of the people who read my work and look at my photographs we have been together a long time. For some, like Steven, that is a fragile bond, broken by a camera. For others like Chris, it is an affirmation, the point of my life.

And isn’t that the very story of life, it’s very nature, it’s yin and its yang? To find your myth is to find your zeal. Wisdom has to come gradually, if it comes at all.

The creative life is almost never secure, it will always be dependent on the wishes and decisions of others. It is for greater minds than mind to figure out how important pictures and words and paintings and quilts are in a world of many competing interests.

In the meantime, if you wish to contribute to my camera project, you can send checks to Post Office Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, or contribute via Paypal (Friends And Family) [email protected].

And thanks, either way.

 

The above photograph was taken by photographer Mitch Dubrowner whose brilliant images were taken by cameras converted to Monochrome and made by maxmax, the company I am purchasing my new Monochrome camera from, I thought it would be valuable for you to see why I am so excited by this new form of photography and what the camera you are helping me purchase will be used for.

My digital cameras are wonderful, and I will surely keep on using them.

But they are not capable of this kind of black and white contrast,  power and detail. But it’s especially exciting for me to have found a way around the very expensive system that permits only the rich and the famous to participate. I think I’ve found a way around that, with your help.

The Internet can be disturbing in many ways, but it has also democratized culture. For very little money, large numbers of people can now contribute to causes they believe in, artists they know. I will share the photos, as well as the process with you every step of the way. That is the deal.

It seems I – we – will be making some history with my new Canon 7D converted Monochrome camera for  black and white photography. As many of you know, I asked for help in purchasing this camera – I will share these photos with you here on the blog – and so many of you have responded. I have received more than $2,000 in Paypal payments and an unknown and untallied number of letters to my Post Office Box 205, I’ll have a better idea Monday or Tuesday.

I have gone ahead and ordered the camera – which costs $3,000 – from a groundbreaking and innovative company in New Jersey called maxmax, it converts digital color cameras to black and white – Monochrome – and buys new Canon, Nikon, and Sony cameras and converts them to monochrome and then sells them. I’ve chosen the Canon Xnite 7D with 20 megapixels. It is about half the price of the Nikons and one fifth the cost of a new Leica.

I think it is the best choice for me now. I am familiar with Canon cameras and can use any of my lenses on the 7D. The camera should arrive her sometime during next week, I will have to figure out what else I need when I get it

I thought at first that I would try to purchase the Leica M monochrome, the only digital camera manufactured for black and white photography, but the total package would have been close to $15,000 and I just couldn’t bring myself to ask for that much money. It wasn’t that I didn’t think I would get it from people, I was afraid that I would.

I then explored the feasibility of converting my Canon 5D, but that camera is too old for the conversion technology, and then, I wouldn’t have a spare. Most digital photographers choose cameras that shoot in color, there is not a huge market for black and white.

Leica says it loses money on the Monochrome M, it does not sell many..

So I began looking for alternatives.  Susan Murray, a reader of the blog, sent me a link to maxmax and it turns out we – you and I – may be making some history. And she sent a timely link. The blog is my mother.

Maxmax is the first and only company that coverts digital cameras, there is really no other place or way to buy them or that knows how to convert digital color sensors to monochrome.

Dan LLewellyn spent the last few hours inventing a conversion process, he is self-taught and smart and determined. B &H Photo told me it was impossible, there is no such thing as a  camera that switches to monochrome. But there is. I’m planning a trip to New Jersey to meet him and see his laboratory.

Some of Lllewellyn’s customers are some of best known and most successful art photographers in the country.

I am hoping I can learn from this process how to take striking black and white portraits and rural landscapes. I think I have a lot to learn, but the process is exciting to me, I want to move forward with my photography, I am eager to share it with the people who helped make it possible and with anyone else who wants to use my images.

I do not watermark or copyright my pictures, people may use them in any way they wish.

I so much appreciate your support in this. On Tuesday, I will end the campaign, whatever the final amount.

I will use the $3,000  and some more, if it comes in,  to cover the cost of accessories for this new camera. Your contributions are very helpful. My two existing cameras need some repair. If you wish to contribute to my photography and this work, you can do so via Paypal – go to “Friends And Family” and use my Paypal ID, [email protected], or send a check, if you prefer, directly to my Post Office Box, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. The money will be well and wisely spend.

Initially there was some controversy – mostly from outside of the blog community, from people on Facebook, but that seems to have quieted down.  I am only asking blog readers for support. And I like my friend Ed Gulley’s advice. People can give a buck or two, or not. End of story.

This is the first time I have raised money exclusively from the blog, not through crowdsourcing, it was not really a gamble. It is an impressive community, you get it and you get me, and I am very grateful for that.

 Kim B

Kim  wrote on my Facebook page yesterday that her husband “is a greatly admired artist,  his materials are costly he has a hard time getting by, I’m happy to say he has never asked strangers to fund him. You know You are really out there. People don’t ask others to pay for their blogs please take me off your list asap.”

I did reply to Kim, who fled my blog and my Facebook page in  horror.

It is true that I am really out there, but $3 billion was raised last year for crowdsourcing projects around the country, and I was not nearly the first. I said I didn’t have a list and wasn’t a good secretary, and I was afraid she would have to just remove herself and leave if she was unhappy.

She is a “huffer,” a term I use for people, who storm away in outrage when they see something that offends them. I think Victorian ladies did that a lot. They just “huff” out of the room.

I was not as happy as she is that her husband is struggling, and sorry she was so proud of it..

I did wake up this morning thinking of her husband and I felt badly that he did not ask for the help that is being offered to so many artists and writers now.

I was sorry that he does not have the same kind of partner that I have, she always encourages me to seek help for my work and is not happy or proud when I suffer.

In fact, she gives me the strength to do things like camera fund, it is not easy for me.

Suffering is worse than pride, I think. And not always necessary. I have suffered plenty, and not suffering is better, given the choice. There is a  great philosophical choice there, and I am in the thick of it.

For all that, my fund to buy a $3,000 Canon re-converted Monochrome camera is well underway. I received about $1,500 via Paypal yesterday and have not yet checked my Post Office Box (P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, NY., 12816.) the main avenue for the funding request, I only started the campaign two days ago. I don’t imagine contributions will arrive until tomorrow or Thursday.

I appreciate these contributions so much, most are for $5 and $10 and I am only using the blog to make the request, not a crowdfunding site. That is meaningful.  The money is not about the blog, which is and will remain free, that is a completely different story.

Earlier in the day, Steve e-mailed me to formally resign reading my blog and said I was “cyber-begging,” which he found outrageous, given my obvious wealth and taste for luxury (trips to Cape Cod and Vermont). I admit that writers have a long history of begging for money, as they never seem to have any. Charles Dickens passed a cup after his readings, and wrote a “Christmas Carol” as a desperate effort to earn some money.

I used to beg my publishers for money, before they all were taken over by corporations. They don’t answer the phone any more, not if writers are calling.

Robyn was also displeased with my request: “I would never ask anyone for money…sorry…I work and save til I can afford it ! I was really surprised you did this! Now, if you’d needed help for one of your critters, that’s another story!” I asked her why she thought I didn’t work and save, and I also asked her where she thought the money for all of those photographs she loves to see of the critters (for free) come from. I wonder if she ever thinks about where the money for the hay, farrier,  vet care and barns and fences comes from.

I know the answer of course.

Some people do not see art or writing or photography as work. Crowdsourcing  – the collection of small amounts of money from large numbers of people to help creative people and others in need – has revolutionized and democratized creativity. In Germany, writers and photographers are given salaries for several years so they can establish themselves. That would be seen as a heresy here, and frankly, not something I would wish. But in some parts of the world, art is recognized as being important.

Almost every farmer I have ever met wonders about people like Robyn, they go to the grocery and buys milk, but never considers where the milk came from or how it got there. It is natural to take things for granted. Farmers can’t afford to do that. I guess I can’t either. I do work hard, and I would love to save some money.

I am not looking for someone to pay for my life.  I’m managing that. Neither am I in crisis or drama. Either way, I will survive.

The camera would help me get to another level – it is black and white digital camera – and also benefit the people who get to see the photos I take every day.  I will be honest, I want to keep growing as an artist. From my messages and mail, my work (and Maria’s) is meaningful to people, I see that also from the generous and supportive contributions coming to me for this project.

“Thank you,” said Susan,” for sharing your words and photographs, I read them every morning, they mean a great deal to me. I appreciate being able to support this work in my small way.”  She sent me $20. I appreciate it too, Susan, and thanks for understanding that writers and artists and photographers also need to make a living, just like Robyn and Kim’s struggling husband.

It is hard enough to be an artist in this corporate world, it is a wonderful things that artists don’t have to struggle as hard as they used to.  There is now some help out there.

Americans are spending billions of dollars on crowdsourcing sites to support writers, artists, inventors, documentarians, filmmakers. I’d love to talk to Kim’s husband and steer him to indiegogo.com, where so many very respected artists are learning that they don’t have to struggle quite as much.

Thank you for the contributions, they mean a great deal to me, I suspect I am at least halfway there. I am proud they are all coming from readers of the blog, and that I did not have to reach outside. This camera – built for black and white digital use – will help me see the world anew, and hopefully you as well. I will do the best I can for it, and for you.

I am determined to find my zeal, as Joseph Campbell says, and live my life. I will never be shamed into thinking there is something wrong with that.

__ You can contribute to the fund via Paypal – go to “Friends And Family” and sent the contribution to [email protected] or you can send a check or other payment to Jon Katz c/o Post Office Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. Thank you.