1 February

Chronicles Of Aging. I’m Getting A Werewolf Cane. It Feels Good.

by Jon Katz

I’ve sensed for some time that I should be using a cane from time to time. I don’t need one always, but I am often wearing a surgical boot as we wait for my new orthotic brace for my left foot. The boot throws me off balance, and men my age sometimes are off balance anyway. I resisted getting a cane, to me, it was a red-line metaphor for aging.

I’m pretty young in my head, and a cane seemed (wrongly) like a surrender to reality.

I bought an inexpensive retractable one, but it was too thin and flimsy.

Then it hit me. I’d love to have a wolf/werewolf cane. I’d be happy to walk around with one of those, although I’m not sure I really want to know why. Maybe it was the Lon Chaney movies, which I loved; maybe it’s because the wolf is a symbol of power and the werewolf is a symbol of the schizophrenic lives we often live in modern times.

The werewolf is one of the great myths, the human being torn between nature and normalcy, between good and evil. The werewolf is horrified by the killing he does; he tries everything to be locked up on the full moon. But he can’t escape it; it is his nature to hunt and kill on a full moon.

In any case, I ordered a cane with the wolf’s head on it. I have no hesitations about walking around with it; it is the right symbol for me, a neat way to be old and feel good about it.

10 March

Aging Proudly: My Wolf (And Werewolf Killing) Cane Has Arrived From England. I Am Strangely And Deeply Affected By It

by Jon Katz

I’ve always been a loner and outsider, which explains much about me, and why I have always loved the story of the Wolf Man.

I am strange to many people.

But there are stranger and odder things than me, and one of them was delivered by FedEx on Thursday morning.

Something new and essential has entered my life – a wolf cane, a/k/a, a werewolf walking cane with a rich and disturbing back story.

It’s changed the way I think about getting older. And, oh yes, it helps me to walk securely.

I’ve known for several years that I would eventually have to walk with a cane, as I have a foot with serious structural problems that often throw me off balance and leaves me vulnerable to falling.

I stubbornly resisted the idea; it was a vanity thing about old age. Nothing says old more clearly than walking on a cane.

I didn’t want to need a cane and hadn’t entirely accepted just how old I was getting to be.

But I did my homework, found a magical cane, ordered it online from an old and very trusted company, and erased my reservations about having a club.

I can’t wait to walk around with this one; it means a lot for reasons I can’t quite explain.

Maria says this is my comfort wolf. I had to laugh.

I realized I had to overcome this cane phobia a few months ago. I need a cane.

I ordered a cheap and flimsy cane online, and I hated how light or fragile it was. I didn’t want to walk with one; it embodied everything I didn’t like about the standard cane I see on the streets and in grocery stores.

I know I am old but I don’t have to feel old.

In the way she dispenses wisdom that eludes me, Maria had an idea: “why don’t you get one of those wolf canes, the ones that can kill werewolves.”

Maria knows me all too well. I loved the idea the second I heard it.

Instantly, I was on fire to have a wolf cane, but it had to be as genuine as possible; I wasn’t looking for a plastic replica or a cheap imitation of this mythical thing.

There was a flash of light in my head, and I got online and started exploring the little but exotic world of wolf canes.

The Wolf Man story has long been surpassed by Scream and TikTok, Superheroes, and computer games, and there is more horror on any cable news show than in all of the Wolf Man movies.

But the wolf cane story has plenty of juice in it for me.

Only the silver cane can kill a werewolf; the wolf canes can also kill wolves if necessary and are said to have supernatural powers that thwart evil. I might take mine down to Washington and walk the halls of Congress (legally.)

There has been a great mystique about these canes ever since Lon Chaney made werewolves famous in his classic movie The Wolf Man, which I must have seen dozens of times.

The story practically hypnotized me when I was a kid.

It seems that it still does.

The cane arrived just as we were leaving for our one-day retreat Thursday. I tore open the package and screwed the wolf’s head – made of heavy metal – onto the cane.

It fits beautifully; the club was lovingly built and solid as a stone.

I showed it to all the young inn staff and told its story, and I was the coolest thing in the building, at least for a few hours.

None of them had seen Lon Chaney’s movie, but all said they would get online the second they got home. Heads turned when I walked into a local restaurant with Maria for dinner.

I wasn’t just another old man on a cane. I was a cool old man with a wolf -head cane. This thing has some Mojo.

Sometimes, I can make aging work for me.

Maria and I celebrated my cane last night in Vermont by watching the Chaney movie again.

In addition to Chaney, it starred Claude Rains, Warren Williams, Ralph Bellamy, Patric Knowles, and Bella Lugosi.

Lugosi played a gypsy werewolf who was beaten to death by a silver wolf’s cane.

My cane sent shivers up and down my spine. I couldn’t stop looking at it, carrying it around with me, even when I didn’t really need it.

At first, I couldn’t bear to get one. Now, I can’t bear to put it down.

Maria thinks the cane is excellent, even sexy.

She has reminded me more than once that it was her idea. It was.

I slept practically with this cane (Maria was a better choice); I had the same feeling when I got a wonderful dog, which was only a bit more mysterious.

This is my cane, the cane I want to use, that I want to walk around with.

By the way, it helps me walk confidently and safely.

The short version of this spooky back story is this.

In 1941, Universal Studios set out to make a genre horror movie that became a classic, along with Dracula and several other films.

The movie starred Lon Chaney as a young innocent who returns to his ancestral home in Llanwelly, Wales, to bury his dead brother and reconcile with his estranged father, a famous scientific researcher and the owner of Talbot Castle, which loomed over the village.

The film’s shooting was in England, mainly at a studio in Buckinghamshire, Chatsworth in Derbyshire, and Castle Combe in Wiltshire.

As with Batman, another of the great myth stories, Chaney played an honorable and unsuspecting man torn between evil power that turned him to murder and tortured him with a stricken conscience.

In his human form, he would never dream of killing anyone.

Like the original Batman, he does not desire great power; he sees it as a curse; he wants to find love and live peacefully. He was horrified by what happened to him.

The $15 silver cane he brought from the shop of a woman he had fallen in love with became the symbol of this tragic myth – a club with a silver wolf head could kill a werewolf, a tale no one in town believed except for a gypsy woman.

The day he bought it, Larry Talbot was walking when he saw a wolf attack a woman in the shadow of his father’s castle. He couldn’t save her, but he bravely tried.

After a fierce fight,  he killed the creature with the silver cane he had just purchased to impress a woman he had fallen in with.

Talbot was bitten in saving a woman from the wolf, and the pentagram – the sign of the werewolf – was embedded in his chest and on the palms of his victims.

His good deed was now a horrible nightmare.

The Wolf Man movie was a huge success; it gave birth to four sequels, including the successful Frankenstein Meets The Wolfe Man, another of my favorites.

The wolfman legend is one of the most widely believed myths in the world even now, especially in Eastern Europe. People worldwide believe that there are men who are sometimes transformed into wolves and who hunt and kill humans.

After the movie, the wolf’s head cane became known as a  powerful weapon in the fight against evil, even supernatural evil.

This story had particular relevance on the eve of World War II.

The psychiatric condition in which a person believes he is a wolf is called Lycanthropy.

In the movie, the doctor diagnosed Larry Talbot as Lycanthropic. Unable to stop killing, Talbot begged his father to take the cane and keep it with him for his own safety.

Talbot knew this might be his death warrant; he dreaded the possibility of killing his father.

Lord Talbott encountered the werewolf in the forest and, not knowing it was  Larry, beat him to death with the silver head cane his son had given him.

My cane does not have a silver head; the wolf’s head is metal, but it was made by a British craftsman who lives near the studio where the movie was filmed.

He’s been making real wolf head canes for much of his life, although he doesn’t make a lot of them these days. He makes all kinds of canes with different heads.

I’ve decided not to share his name; this is a personal thing between him and him.

I bought two wolf head canes online when I started on this mission. I thought they were cheaply made and shoddy, so I returned them.

I made the right choice with this small company in England; my cane is the real deal, although I don’t expect to fight with any wolves in Washington County, New York. I might scare off some evil spirits if the legend had any meaning.

What a great blog post that would be.

My craftsman was very particular about his wood and the metal he used. He sent me letters and messages telling me how he was building the cane and how I should take care of it.

He repeatedly apologized for the time it took – nearly a month – to build and finish it. I have two pages on how to keep it healthy and strong. It was worth the wait.

He made a unique rubber foot and sent it to put on the bottom of the cane; a leather strap to keep it from sliding off my hand is on the way.

I did get the chills occasionally, waiting for the club to come.

This is one of the myths that has always grabbed my imagination; I was almost obsessed with it as a kid. There’s a lot of magic in the story.

When I first saw the movie, it seemed primitive and improbable. But it embedded itself into the imagination of this strange child, who was 10 or 11 when he saw it.

I sometimes imagined being the werewolf and occasionally getting my hands on a silver wolf cane that would protect me from anything human or supernatural – like the bullies in my Middle School.

I guess I haven’t grown up, but I find it fascinating that this cane had made me eager to get it and use a club when almost nothing else did. I’ve had it for two days, and it works for me.

There is a vital lesson for people who think about aging here.

We need to look at the things that are not only necessary for us but which can stimulate and seek out things that give us strength. I’ve been stopped on the street by a dozen younger people who see the cane and say, “Hey, that is so cool!”

That’s exciting for a 75 -year-old man who needs a cane to keep his balance. I like it; it makes me feel young and excited. This lesson is not lost on me.

I suppose it’s also about feeling powerful, but I’ve never been powerful and am not looking to be powerful now.

These recent years have been about simplifying my life, not expanding it. I don’t wish to conquer anyone or anything.

But I’m thrilled to have my wolfs head cane.

I take it everywhere. Maybe it is my comfort wolf.

I think Fate growled at it when I brought it home; this is a good sign.

23 February

My Wolf Man Cane Is On The Way: The Psychology Of Aging. Go Figure.

by Jon Katz

For a couple of years now, I’ve understood that because of the shape of my left foot, I will need a cane to get around safely and ensure I keep my balance as I age.

The arch in that foot has essentially collapsed, throwing off my balance and causing other problems. I tilt.

Those are not good dynamics for a big and tall man. Falling, which I used to do regularly,  is no longer an option.

I’ve put off getting a cane; it seemed the ultimate symbol of old age. It was a line I was having trouble crossing. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I can always kid myself that I look young when I get around, but walking with a cane is a statement.

I believe in radical acceptance, but that doesn’t always mean I can do it. There’s no turning back with a cane. My foot is so weird I used a club on one of my book tours (and with a rod, you can get on a plane early.)

But after the book tour, I stopped using it. I don’t need it all the time, but I will need it occasionally.

When I announced this to Maria, she lit up and said: “if you’re getting a cane, you ought to get a Werewolf Cane, like the one in Lon Cheney’s werewolf movie. That would be so cool.”

It was a brilliant idea, coming to someone who understands how to get me to love getting a cane rather than dreading it. How wonderful to be finally known.

If I’m creative about aging, I realize I will be easier with it. I want to make it work for me.

I can’t wait for the cane to come (estimated delivery date March 9). And I can’t wait to walk with it. That’s pretty amazing to me.

I started stalking the Internet for the right can days before finding what I wanted. There was a bronze wolf head I loved, but it was more than $300. Mine was less than $200.

My cane is a custom-made, black cane with a wolf’s head at the top made by artisans just outside Llanwelly, Wales, where the Werewolf movie was filmed and supposedly took place—the perfect place for me to get one made for me.

A “wolf’s head” cane, as they are called, is simply a walking stick fitting with a metal handle in the shape of a wolf’s head. You can get the wolf’s head in metal, gold, silver, or bronze. I can afford metal.

These canes are supposed to ward off – and kill, if necessary – all kinds of evil spirits.

This cane became famous in 1941 in the classic Universal Pictures movie The Wolf Man, one of the best so-called “horror” movies ever made.

The protagonist was a tragic figure named Lary Talbot, as played by Cheney, the perfect person for the role. This was one of my all-time favorite movies; I must have seen it hundreds of times.

Talbot returned to Wales to attend the funeral of his brother.

He had no interest in canes, but he bought a wolf’s head cane for $15 to flirt with Gwen Conliffe, who ran an antique store in the village.

Talbot showed it to his grumpy father, Sir John Talbot, who complained that it was just an “old walking stick.”

That same evening Talbot was walking with the stick that he suddenly needed to use to drive off a wolf that had attacked a local girl in the village.

He bludgeoned the wolf to death and later found out that the silver in the handle killed the animal. The creature was a werewolf named Bela.

While fending off the fatal attack, Bela bit Talbit, and he now had the curse of lycanthropy, where bitten human beings turn into wolves at the full moon and become unwilling killers.

It was the same wolf’s stick that Larry’s father, Sir John, was forced to use on his son when he was  transformed into a werewolf.

Talbog was a tragic character, a good man looking for love who never meant to harm anyone but couldn’t help himself.

He helped bring about his death in order to spare others. Chaney had the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen in a movie.

So I’m getting a cane, thanks to Hollywood and Maria. And I can’t wait. Sometimes, I confound myself.

 

 

 

 

15 February

Photo Journal, Wednesday, February 15, 2023: My First Walk In A Long Time, With Maria, Zinnia, Fate, Some Sheep, A Strong Sun And A Cane. It Was Wonderful. Walking, Not Gyms, Is My Thing

by Jon Katz

It’s been more than a year since I could take a walk alone or with Maria.

I had to keep off my feet (or food) to try to heal a wound. I do not have neuropathy, but doctors tread very cautiously with diabetics; infections can be perilous.

Today was a happy day for me, a big personal success.

Maria and I took our first walk together out in the back pasture while I was wearing my new brace orthotics. It held up well, despite some new and occasionally painful knee pain from the change in footwear.

This is to be expected and why I can only wear the braces for a couple of hours a day for a few weeks.

Walking is my thing, the exercise I love most, the only exercise I don’t need prodding to do,  and the one my doctors say is best for me.

I appreciated going to the gym while I could; they treated me very well there, although no one under 40 would even look at me. But walking is my exercise, the only one I always want and loved to do.

I used a cane today to help me move along; my Werewolf Cane from England is not here yet, I’m eager to get it. I took my monochrome Leica out today, thinking of taking some soft, dreamy like photos.  I was going for mood. The sun co-operated. I overexposed whenever I could.

We had a lovely walk that lasted about a half hour, and it was a joyous experience for me, a kind of rebirth. We walked all the way to the back and round the woods in the back.

 

I was a little wobbly at first and unsteady, but it all came back to me, and I loved every minute of it. This is Bedlam Farm from the rear.

Tomorrow I’m hoping to go to Crazy Goat Lady Cindy Casavant’s farm and meet her new goat triplets. I’m definitely bringing a camera.

 

Some of the sheep tried to follow us. Fate pretended she wanted to do something about it. Zinnia took it all in.

 

 

We call this Zinnia’s pond now, she jumps in all winter, and today she had a blast retrieving sticks, the favorite pastime of the Yellow Lab. It was great to be out there with her for the first time in a long time. Afterward, I threw the ball for her, and she’s been asleep ever since.

I have to ease into it; there are no walks tomorrow, but I hope to walk just about every day by next Monday. I feel reborn.

__

P.S. For those of you trying to start a fight about killing spiders (I don’t), forget it. It’s not happening on my blog posts. And, oh yes, please mind your own business, and thank you.

 

11 May

Look Who’s Walking! The Boots Are Off.

by Jon Katz

I’m happy to report that Dr. Daly finally ok’d my burning the surgical boots I’ve been wearing on and off for a couple of years and wearing my regular shoes with a brace for the left leg.

I enjoy wearing my regular jeans again and putting my left foot into a shoe. The photo above shows me walking without support or surgical boots for the first time in a couple of years.

I’m hanging on to the werewolf cane; you never know.

We were jubilant; no more daily bandaid and anti-biotic treatments for my toe, which is no longer with us. The boots wreaked havoc on my back and legs; the brace doesn’t bother me, which I suppose is the idea.

No more hobbling around on the boot. I’m just walking around with Zinnia, which should not be a big deal (sound familiar), but it is somehow.

I just got off the phone with Saratoga Hospital, and they asked me to be at the surgery center early in the morning.

No food or drink after midnight, only one medication allowed, and no wedding ring, necklace, or metal. I will be in sweatpants and then in a hospital robe and anesthetized while some powerful machine blasts my single kidney stone with sound waves.

The doctor says it’s 75 percent successful. I like the odds.

The nurses say there will be some pain and discomfort following the surgery; There are not nearly as many emotional issues as there were surrounding my toe amputation, but surgeries are surgeries,  and hospitals are hospitals.

Neither of them are meant to be fun.

At least I won’t need a walker to get into my house.

Our visit to Dr. Daly’s office will be the last one for a month, and there was a great sense of celebration of having come to the end of something that went on for a long time and challenged all of us in many ways.

I brought an Amish pie, along with cookies and fudge. The nurses were happy. We made some friends there and had some real fun. I love the cookies. We never stopped laughing together, we all know that life can sometimes be ridiculous.

I even got some hugs on the way out.  I’ll be back, I said, you haven’t seen the last of me. I’m a great admirer of nurses and school teachers. They are both essential to our lives and are overworked and underpaid.

I hope the particular chapter and experience are over. We’ll see. I’ll be seeing Dr. Daly for a long time, if not forever.

In the meantime, surgery is early in the morning. We are prepared for anything but normalcy. I’ll be in touch when it’s possible and wake I wake up from the anesthesia.

We’re still a little dazed from the last surgery but recovering quickly. It’s not a crisis. It’s life.

Bedlam Farm