Bedlam Farm Blog Journal by Jon Katz

27 April

Flower Art In White And Yellow: Signing Off To See A Documentary On Octopuses. Tonight The Stars Are Mostly Dahlias

by Jon Katz

I read for much of the morning. Maria helpled me to clean out some of the crowded electronics in my office shelves. It’s a lod less crowded in here. Then we went for a walk down Main Street in our small town, I took some nice photos and saw some friends.

I’ll post about it tomorrow. Tonight, we’re  watching part one of “Secrets Of The Octopus”  a documentary on Hulu. We love learning about this remarkable creature, we even went to the Boston Aquarium two years ago to see theirs.

We treasure the weekends, we cut back on work and love to hang out with each other – sigh, we often forget to cut off work but we always find time for each other. See  you in the morning. I love the colors I’m finding in cut flowers as I repared to plant some in the raised garden bed. I’ll start planting the second week in May.

I couldn’t resist the white flowers photo, I took them out on the fence to catch the sun, but most of today’s color art is about Dahlias. They are on a good sized plant which is going in my garden bed as soon as it gets warm enough.

It was cloudy this morning, then the sun kept breaking out.

I love the depth and lines of the Dahlia.

Have a good night, see you in the morninbg. We have a date with some octopuses tonight. I’m making popcorn.

27 April

Zip And Me – Maria Caught It. Plus Hens And Robins Eating Worms

by Jon Katz

It was a bit embarrassing, but Maria caught me singing to Zip in the yard near the pasture in our afternoon meeting chair. Zip was bliss when I scratched him under his chin, and he fell asleep in my arms.

But being open is being open, and I was pretty content myself.

Zip has gotten under my skin (you can call him Zud.)

After that, he went off hunting. No luck today that I know of. (Above photo by Maria Wulf).

Zip hunting his nemesis, the chipmunk in the stone wall. So far, it’s chipmunk five, Zip zero.

We’re calling him “Prince Zip” these days. Whenever we return from chores, he’s abducted to a different place to hold court and keep an eye on his kingdom. Boy, is he at home?

I’m not the only one spoiling Zip.

Zip kept staring at the pasture, and I saw why; a robin caught a worm, pulled it out of the ground, and swallowed it whole. Impressive.

Zip usually chases the hens out of the apple tree; today, he relented and let one of them hole up there for a while. Zip is the absolute commander of the land around the farmhouse and, of course, the barn. He chased Zinnia out, and we had to feed the hens their work 20 feet away. The barn belongs to Zip.

Zip is ferociously territorial about his barn; he doesn’t like anybody coming in there except to feed him.

27 April

Sunrise, Bedlam Farm. Harmony And Color

by Jon Katz

Maria was starting the wood stove this morning, and Bud, who loves Maria and warmth, was beside her. It was a beautiful image for me, these two strong and loving outsiders sitting by the fire on a chilly Spring Day. Harmony


A beautiful scene in the morning.

 

Lulu is down by the creek where the grass is starting to grow.

It is always grounding for me to see sheep grazing and the grass is starting to come up.

Zip (a/k/a) Zud loves to chew on stems from Maria’s garden. He has also discovered that many mice are coming in and out of the cracks in the cement.

 

 

27 April

Saturday Morning: A New Friend: Me

by Jon Katz

In meditation and my new breathing exercises, I am becoming a better friend to myself and my body as I get to know both, perhaps for the first time in my life. I’m making the time to do it, and I do it every day.

In my spiritual practice, I’m developing a friendship with myself so I can learn how to change and become more peaceful, gentler, and patient. That also helps my writing. Better late than never.

My decision a few years ago to move more spiritually has been good for me. I have more work to do, but I am better and happier with others and myself.

I’ve found a way to change, to face up to pains, memories, delusions, and other behaviors that aren’t good for me or for the people around me, and to my surprise, this work, along with my therapy, has been more successful than I imagined, even though it is far from over.

If I want to reconcile with people, family, or those who have hurt me, I have to take care of myself first and be a better friend to me.  I’m learning to live in harmony with the world.

That takes patience and some grinding and painful work. How can I know or listen to anyone else if I cannot listen to myself? If I can’t be a friend to myself—I haven’t liked myself very much for much of my life—then how can I listen to anyone else, love them, and be a good friend or husband?

In our world, there are always people waiting to hurt me and others, and I am learning how to live with them and accept them without hurting myself. Life is not about how you spell but how you feel. I rarely get any messages from the outside world about that, but many are inside of me.  It’s a long trip, with lots of turns and bumps.

Maria has given me a powerful motive to do this work – I love her very much and want her to love me in return. So far, so good, and I mean to keep it that way. It’s work that never really stops.

That means listening to me and changing when I need to. So I can listen to her and other people.  I’m going through a period of fundamental change, evaluating what I need and want. That means recognizing my suffering so I can live in harmony with myself, my relationships, and the rest of the world.

I’m excited about this work and I’ll keep sharing it, whether it’s success or failure. Thanks for listening to me.

26 April

Images From The Cambridge Food Pantry: Heart, Exhaustion, Hope And Endless Compassion

by Jon Katz

I don’t recall ever setting foot in the Food Pantry in all the years I lived here, but now, I’m in the building several times a week, thinking about it the rest of the time and taking pictures when I can.

It’s not my whole life, but it’s a good chunk of it now, along with the Mansion and Sue Silverstein’s wonderful art students, my farm, and my blog.

It’s a powerful place for me, a place of emotion, work that can never be finished or done, and the endless commitment of ordinary people who can’t stop caring about their neighbors and friends who suddenly can’t afford to go to the supermarket or the grocery store to feed their children.

It’s a place of feeling and heart; new work begins the second it is finished, even for a moment. The need grows every week, and the funds constantly shrink. The challenge is enormous.

How can I not love it?

The pantry, a complex, elaborate warren of rooms, shelves,  refrigerators, and freezers, which serves hundreds of people and children several days and nights a week, has gotten under my skin and into my head, as is evident.

The drama is evident to me: What kind of people are we, after all? We are good people, and there are many more good people; I know I am right every time I see those volunteers and the boxes strangers send from all over the country.

These people run to people in need, not away from them, just like the volunteers at the pantry. I like to think I’m the same, even though, in many ways, I am different.

That is what matters to me. So much of our country is looking the other way.

When Sarah Harrington called me a couple of months ago and asked if I would advocate for the pantry – she is new to the director’s job (there was no director for months) –  I said sure).

After all, I  have a small Army behind me; they are called the Army Of Good.

Sarah immediately impressed me as being direct, honest, and passionate about the place. She is a person of great heart, caring, and as bright as a whip. She pulled me in in minutes.

We work very well together. She is the first person working at the pantry with an e-mail address.

I agreed to work with her on one condition: I could take photographs, not of the needed visitors but of the people helping them.

I said my readers respond to people, not institutions. My pictures don’t lie; they can see what I am trying to do and decide if they want to come along. My photographs are how I communicate with them; they tell the story better than I can.

I have only met a handful of my blog readers and the people in what we call the Army of Good. We know each other well now, but the photos tell the story. They always succeed in doing good when asked, and they have not refused once in eight years.

They are all over the country, and I am not likely to meet any of them. I bless them every day.

I said I would never photograph or bring a camera inside when the Pantry users were there, I would never photograph the child volunteers without permission from their parents and the school, and I would never ask for or use their full names.

Sarah agreed and got me right away and put me to work. I volunteer when I can help and get to know the other volunteers and the people who make the place work. It sometimes seems to be hanging by a thread, never enough money, often few to people, but that is not so. It is a well-oiled machine that never fails.

The volunteers are impressive people. They are hard-working, humble, and full of heart. They seem to have inexhaustible energy and commitment.

I have been going into the pantry occasionally to get a feel for the place and take the pictures that tell the story.

I’ll do that from time to time. I’m posting two of my favorites here tonight and want to do that more often.

Again, I want to thank you, Army of Good, for your faithful and earnest commitment. You have made an enormous difference in the lives of many people caught in one of life’s traps—little money for rising costs and hungry children.

I will share some pictures from time to time, and I will stick with them, even if I end up alone with them. So far, that has not happened, and I will be careful about asking too much. Thanks again for following this chapter.

By the way, Sarah’s weekend need: Prego Pasta Sauce, Case of 6, $11,64.

Email SignupFree Email Signup