Bedlam Farm Blog Journal by Jon Katz

Like everyone I’ve ever known, I’ve experienced some suffering in my life. It comes with life, but so do hope, compassion, and, yes, even love.  I learned this vital lesson late in life.

I had starved love to the point where I had none and expected to die without ever having experienced it. For me, feeding love was believing in and being open to it. That was the hard part. Once I did, love appeared within days. I’ve always had good things, but I could not see them.

Nothing can survive without food, not even suffering, writes Thich Nhat Hanh. “For love to survive, we have to feed it. If we don’t feed it, or we feed it the wrong kind of nutrients, our love will die. In a short time, our love can turn into hate“.

I see the truth of that in the news.

I’m intrigued by the idea of feeding love, joy, beauty, and hope. All require attention and nourishment, just like a flower. I know what  Hanh means. I often thought of my suffering, anger, grievances, and disappointment.  I never thought of hope.

Today, I wake up in the practice of gratitude and appreciation. They are nutrients.  I don’t think of what I don’t have, but what I do have, and despite my blindness, could always have had.

So, every morning, I feed love and compassion, count my blessings, and list the things I can be grateful for. The list always astonishes me, but the good stuff gets fed to keep it vital and alive. Feeding this makes a big difference. It sticks after a while.

The photo above shows what I see driving home on Route 68 in Vermont after buying T-shirts for the Mansion residents’ Fourth of July celebration at a Walmart. They plan to color them all red, white, and blue. Wal-Mart always makes me uncomfortable; it is overwhelming, confusing, and destroys countless small businesses.

But I got different-sized T-shirts for 35 residents in all the different sizes for $110.

I was concerned about spending a lot on T-shirts when so many people were hungry. Walmart made it okay for me; the cost was low.

That’s why Walmart had so many people in it, and I was grateful for the price. The residents are very excited about the festival. They deserve it.

Sharon thanks you, and so do I. A poet and resident at the Mansion, she will soon be living in a different facility where they can deal with the severe illnesses confronting her. I’m still determining where she is going or where, and because of Hippa, I won’t be told anything either. But I brought Sharon her new Android tablet to replace the one that broke down a few days ago.

Sharon says she spends 90 percent of her life on her tablets, researching her illness and talking to her family. Her poetry has been published in a dozen or more magazines, and I hope she has the opportunity to continue writing. Last Friday, I asked for help in getting enough money for a first-rate tablet, and I got enough and more. The overage goes to Sharon and into the Mansion Fund, which could use the money.

Your generosity overcame her, and I am, too. Thank you, this one got deep into my heart. Bless the Army of Good, now and forever. It is so much better to do good. Godspeed Sharon, thanks for our friendship.