Sometimes I think the flowers I photograph will take off and sail into space, they are so radiant and emotional. I was feeling a lot of emotion today. We located a scrapbook my mother kept of my childhood and my early work as a journalist, and she patched it together with scotch tape and glue. I didn’t see much of my mother in her last years, and she was a sad and unhappy person, but her love for me really shone through and I was overcome looking at the photos of myself as a young boy, and then a young man. The triumphs and tragedies of a life just flew by and overwhelmed me with sadness, regret, healing and hope. I was happy to see this flower in stranger’s garden. Each day is a new choice, a new beginning.
Bedlam Farm was officially de-listed today as a property for sale. It’s off the market, and Maria and I are not selling or moving, not for the foreseeable future. The donkeys are staying, along with the dogs and barn cats. Sheep will come and go as Darryl Kuehne wants. They’ll be here in the summer eating my grass.
The decision to sell the farm was complex. I was overwhelmed by the number of things I was trying to do – children’s books, photography, fiction, farming. There were too many animals here. It seemed overwhelming, especially after the divorce. Things are different now. I am married. Maria and I share a love for the place and the animals who are here. I have written a novel, three children’s books, a short story collection and am working on a book about animal grieving. I have reorganized my personal and financial life and the farm is financially and physically manageable. The cows and goats are gone, as are the sheep most of the time, and I’ve sold off a chunk of property to a good neighbor.
I am very productive here. And as important, so is Maria. She loves the Studio Barn and is cranking out potholders, e-book bags, cell phone and eyeglass cases and her beloved quilts. So we’re not going anywhere. I like the central location of the farm, which is somewhat remote itself, but near several cities and towns we love – Saratoga, Glens Falls, Manchester, Vt., Dorset, Vt., Cambridge, N.Y. We have lots of wonderful friends, and I love the group male friends I have been fortunate to meet and get to know. This is a creative place, and we are a creative union. Bedlam Farm is such a huge part of that. So it’s no longer for sale, and that feels good.
Up here, real men call their wives “The Wife,” as in “The Wife wants me home at 5 for dinner.” Or “The Wife” has a long “Honey-do” list, the local jargon for chores. So I’m going to try calling Maria “The Wife” and see what happens. One of our favorite times of the day is visiting and brushing the donkeys. They like it too and they look sharp. We paid some bills, checked the mail. I ordered an Ipad today for the book tour and a MacBookPro for Maria and I to use for her work and mine. Lot of money.Gulp.
Cold front coming in, which is nice. Ordered fuel oil for the winter, decided to buy a capped program. Spend about $100 and I’m protected from fuel costs rocketing up. With three wood stoves, we should be all right, but it’s part of the chess match that comes with running a farm.
Izzy is coming with me on the Rolling Rose book tour in October. I’d bring Rose, but the last time I tried that some booklovers got herded towards the door. She doesn’t like people petting or cuddling with her. Izzy does.
One nice night of the book will be a joint appearance with author Rita Mae Brown, who will be with me at Borders Books, Bailey’s Crossroads, Va., at 7 p.m. Wednesday, October 13. That will be a great night. I am ordering my Ipad today with photo connector. I will be able to blog daily from the tour, and also post on FB.
