I’ve gone through a number of issues and changes in recent years, and few have been more disturbing, frightening, complex than my decision, finally made this week to abandon the mainstream health care system.
I am not the sort of person viscerally drawn to alternative medications, not until recently. I came to consciousness about health care when I came to see how tainted the medical system has become by money, politics, fear, greed, pharmaceutical companies, medical suppliers, tests, regulations, lawsuits and lawyers. And how bad these people made me feel, how frightened and confused.
I last saw a doctor nearly three years ago, a young man I liked. We had become friends.He told me he hated the pill factory he was working in. Lawyers told the doctors there they needed to prescribe things – tests and pills -so that people couldn’t sue them for doing nothing. “We don’t look for health,” he said, “the system doesn’t work on health. We never let the body heal.” I appreciated that. He said he no longer knew how to diagnose a patient, only to order tests and write prescriptions. He told me to get a vegetable mixer and start using it.
This confirmed what I had been feeling. For some years doctors had been frightening me, telling me things that did not come true, ordering tests that were not necessary, cautioning me about things that might do me in down the road, warning me about my body and my life.
Doctors told me I needed to be on prostate medication, so I wouldn’t get cancer. And pills and tests and meters so I could manage my blood sugar. And sleeping pills to help me sleep, and blood pressure and cholesterol medications so I wouldn’t have a heart attack. No doctor ever told me I might manage these things myself, or that nutrition could affect these things, or that the side affects of these medications could be far worse than the illnesses they are supposed to prevent. I came to see this use of fear to bully and overwhelm anxious people into tests and medications in a system that seemed to me ravaged and corrupted by lobbyists and congressmen and bureaucrats. As an aging person, I do not want to be part of a system draining the country, threatening the young, and promoting notions of aging and death I found truly horrifying and unacceptable.
I am healthy, and in fact, getting healthier, on no medications of any kind. I feel good, have much energy and happiness in my life. I feel strong, finally about my decision, even though much of society would consider me mad and irresponsible. A good friend begged me to stay with conventional medicine and challenged me to defend my decision. I can’t, I told him. It’s not an argument. It’s how I choose to live.
As I got older, I did not want a life bounded by doctor’s visits, tests, pills, pharmaceutical visits, struggles with insurance company or private and personal decisions. How quickly that could become the focus of my life, my conversation, choke my creativity and energy, alter my sense of self, dignity and control. I wanted to control how I age, and then, how I die. Not compatible with mainstream medicine. I went to a spiritual counselor, began meditating. I found a massage therapist, and began to explore energy work and its affect on the body. I studied nutrition and have altered almost everything about shopping and our diets ( I shop and cook in our family ). I chose my own form of exercise, being active on the farm and walking daily. I am learning about the connection between the body and the soul, and the need to consider both in any kind of issue relating to health.
The people in my health care system are people I can talk to – they make time for me. They make me feel healthy and safe and give me many good ideas about how I can be healthier. They do not make much money and they never frighten me. They love what they do, and it is a pleasure to talk to any of them. I look forward to seeing them. They do not have TV’s in their waiting rooms showing cancer and diabetes ads sponsored by drug companies. That seems very healthy to me.
I am meeting next week with a naturopathic physician, and if he accepts me as a primary patient, I will leave mainstream medicine behind totally, and for good, barring an accident or some illness that requires it.
I will keep my health care in case of emergency. This is how I feel, not how anyone else should feel. It is not an argument. It is a choice.
I like the sound of this new doctor. In his questionnaire, he asks me what three things I expect of him:
I said first, to be my physician. Secondly, to help me be healthy and age well. And finally, to help me die well and out of the clutches of a system driven mad by greed and fear and insecurity.
Simon, Fanny and Lulu wait for their apple every morning. They love the apples from the few remaining apples trees, which once comprised an orchard on the farm. They wait patiently and eat one by one. Much crunching and slurping.
I saw Rocky, the Appaloosa Pony whose barn collapsed last winter, his winter coat all shed, out grazing in his pasture. He looks good. I get a lot of requests to keep photographing Rocky, and I wanted to say that I can’t generally honor those. I understand that many people like to keep track of the animals in my life and on the farm, and that is sweet, but I have enough trouble keeping up with the ones who are here, and I can’t commit to updating all of those I photograph. Wish I could.
Rocky is not an animal in need of rescue. Many barns have collapsed around here, many are flooded and damaged, and I do not know what will become of all those barns, or the animals who lived in them, nor is it my business. Lots of houses are down also, and that is the appropriate focus here. I am happy to post this photo of Rocky, but it may be awhile before I can do it again.
Had a sweet and special morning at Bedlam Farm. Rose went back to work, and did a stellar job, moving comfortably and easily. She’s now off all medication. We gave some leftover Sushi to the chickens, and they loved it. And Simon graced us with a special greeting, a joyous start to the day. I think in many ways that Simon is the happiest animal on the farm, he seems to so love his life.
But then, the dogs are pretty happy too. And so are the people. This video begins a new feature here, the Smile Video. I am working on creating videos that lift us up, call us to life, challenge us to get to work on our lives and make them better. If you want bad and sad news, there is plenty available to you in many different media and you can pay for it. Boy, will you pay for it.
This Smile Video series is free, and carries out the calling of the artist and writer to remind people of the light, color, images and hope of the world. Hope you like it. I’ll try and do one as often as I can, and Simon will lead the charge.
