Day: December 11, 2014

A few months before my open heart surgery, I experienced some swelling and pain in my left cheek, I went to the dentist, was treated for an infection, but the pain and swelling returned, again and again. Eventually, it was determined that my immune system no longer recognized the tooth as a tooth, the nerves were dying, the infection spreading. I was sent to an oral surgeon to have the tooth removed, and to begin the process of getting an implant.

Two days later, I was in the hospital getting surgery for my heart. I remember stitches in my mouth hanging down and freaking out the anesthesiologist in the operating room. The implant process was postponed until a month ago when I returned to the oral surgeon, he performed some uncomfortable surgery on my jaw and tooth that prepared for an implant, which I received. We have a couple more months of trouble, I needed more surgery on my gums and on the jawbone before the implant could work. This became a significant thing to me, as I see this as a year marked by medical preoccupations, doctors visits, insurance issues, and some considerable pain and discomfort.

I wanted my life to return to normal, but my life had its own ideas. Two weeks ago, my excellent dentist despaired, he said he just couldn’t understand the trouble we were having with this procedure, normally routine. Nothing seemed to work, more needles, cutting, drilling. Ouch. He thought I would have to return to the oral surgeon for a third time, but there was one more thing he could try, one more tool to order.

Today I went back and it all worked beautifully, my new crown is arriving in a few weeks. Whatever he ordered was what he needed.  On an impulse, I asked Dr. Coco if I could order a crown in red or blue, he laughed and said, no, he wouldn’t order that for me. We are friends, and he wasn’t buying it, he said I would regret it.

“What about gold?,” I asked. Dr. Coco said it was cheaper than the alternatives, and it was okay with him if it was what I wanted. So I texted Maria, who said. “great!” and I am getting a gold tooth.

I’m happy to get a gold tooth, it will make my mouth a bit more interesting, it’s part of my pirate heritage and character, and I am even happier to be nearing the end of this never-ending medical year. Things could have been a lot worse on both counts, my heart and  my tooth.

This is a milestone for me, a landmark. When my tooth comes I will feel more whole in body and mind, my long medical year will, I hope, be coming to an end.

In the corporate nations, things become symbols of other things, they appear suddenly, become ubiquitous and universal, then vanish. They become symbols of things. I saw my first Dollar Store four or five years  ago, I read  recently they will soon be in every town and city in America, they represent a while new way to market things, they have created a new niche and a new market. This being America, of course, there is very little in them that costs a dollar, they have become a kind of working-class department store, a nice between outlets and Wal-Mart.

I drive by this Dollar General store in our town often, it just occurred to me today that it is a perfect photograph for me, in my “The Americans” series. It is that most American of things, I doubt there will be a dollar store in ten years, there will be something new.

Red had a full day as a therapy dog, he went to the chiropractor, a hospital, cardiac rehab, and a dentist, he worked five or six straight hours, never losing focus or concentration, never getting restless. And this was after a good workout herding sheep in the driving snow.

At the dentist, there was this young couple, she was having some work done on her teeth, he is facing a root canal. It was, he said, his first time ever at the dentist and he was anxious about the root canal. No big deal these days, I said, but it was Red who went right to him and stayed with him and his wife for a bit. He had them both smiling in a few minutes.

As the storm begins to wane, the yellow barn down the road sits like a meditation, a link between then and now. There is something spiritual about it, something that suggests patience, waiting, and especially acceptance. If I have learned anything in the past few years, and also this summer, it has been to open up to the gift of acceptance. Life happens, to all of us, and my challenge is to accept what  happens, and be grateful for what I have. It is becoming a habit, an instinct. We all gain things, we all lose things, that is what it means to be a human being.

When I am done with the morning chores, Lenore is often sitting at the gate. She loves to come into the pasture, lots of gross stuff to trawl for, but she is always happy to see me, either way. She is the Love Dog.