We waited for some of Red’s blood work to come through this morning, Maria and I took turns sitting with him on the examining room floor at the vet. Red has never really been sick before, this was a new experience for us in a way, he was barely moving, perhaps due to his fever, but he rested his head against Maria’s leg, and then against mine.
Dr.Fariello asked that Red stay in the hospital for now, we will go see him later this afternoon to see how he is and hopefully, to take him home for the night. Red is a sweetie, as always, he remained calm through all of the poking and prodding and gave Dr. Fariello his paw when she got up.
To me, he looked poorly and seemed to be sinking.
Hopefully, the IV hydration and some antibiotics will break the fever. He is also on anti-nausea medication. More later. I am less concerned than I was this morning, when I went to see him last, his eyes were opened wide and his ears were up, he seemed to be perking up a little.
Red is a sick dog. Dr. Fariello says she is concerned, and has begun IV dehydration and is doing some bloodwork and other tests.
He’s staying at the vet for most of the day and will come home tonight.
The first step will be to treat for some kind of toxin or plant poison that might be affecting his liver, and if that doesn’t work, we’ll take X-rays and perhaps some ultrasound tomorrow. Dr. Fariello has ruled out pancreatitis.
She is also going to apply some acupuncture points for the liver, which appears to be a sensitive area for Red. Like most border collies, Red is a notorious stoic, so it’s hard to know just what he is feeling. I have never seen him so sick and lifeless.
He is running a fever, which is a first for him, and can’t take any food at all. He vomits any food immediately, and is drooling continuously. He is not feeling well.
He seems to be worsening in terms of feeling poorly and being sluggish. So we just don’t know yet what is wrong or how serious it is, but there is some cause for concern. One good guess is a toxic plant.
This is a time for calm and focus and perspective for me, I can get upset later if it’s warranted.
I trust Dr. Fariello completely, she is a modern veterinarian with an appreciation for alternative therapies, so we are covered on a wide range of treatment. I have my own theories and ideas about treatment and about subjecting dogs to too much suffering, but we are not nearly in that realm yet.
I appreciate your good wishes and thoughts. I always appreciate Red, but never more so than when I think he might not be around one day. And we don’t need to go there yet either.
Like many men, I like to pride myself on the idea that I am not emotional or dramatic when it comes to life, or when it comes to dogs. Because I grew up with so much of it, I am allergic to drama and resist it. The road to authenticity and self-awareness is long and hard, many triumphs and setbacks and lessons along the way.
The truth about dogs is that they are different than we are, and a life with them is not ever a straight line. We must expect life to assert itself, again and again.
Red is one of those things that can open me up, reveal my intense vulnerability and expose the lies I sometimes tell myself. For several days, he has not eaten, and if he does take any kind of food, he quickly vomits it up. Outside, he gobbles down grass and then comes and puts his head on my knee, licking his lips repeatedly and seemingly, trying to send me a message that I hear clearly: I am sick.
I won’t pretend I’m above it all, as I have sometimes been known to do, but I will confess that this issue is laden for me emotionally. I have lost some wonderful dogs – Rose, Izzy, Lenore – prematurely, and just when they ought to be settling in to maturity and aging.
I have also worked hard to overcome and control the anxiety and unease – and panic – I have so often felt in life, and that have crippled me and harmed so many. I must always be self-aware and honest with myself, for my sake and for the sake of those I love.
It always started the same way, with small symptoms that masked larger ones, and border collies are notorious stoics, you often never know how sick they are or have been. I am concerned. This has not ever happened with Red, he hasn’t been sick a day in his life.
I have loved those dogs, but never been closer to any dog than I am to Red. His work with the sheep, his extraordinary therapy work, his love of book readings and tours, his generous and calm spirit, his deep loyalty to me are not replaceable things. Red is a spirit dog, he came from my friend Dr. Karen Thompson to walk with me through this critical stage of my life. He is one of the magical helpers Joseph Campbell writes about on the hero journey.
He touches hearts and souls wherever he goes, and brightens lives.
Red is always by my side, always. This morning, I took him out to work with the sheep and he did well, but I can see he is not himself, he is not well. There is absolutely no reason to believe this is anything more serious than than a stomach disorder, yet I remember thinking that about Rose and Izzy and Lenore, all of whom were very sick and who died before their time.
I have worked hard on preventative care with Red – laser work, acupuncture, massage. And he has done well with all of those things. But no treatment is a guarantee of anything.
This morning, we are going to see Dr. Suzanne Farriello of the Cambridge Valley Veterinary, the vet who has treated Red these past several years and who knows him well, and a good and valued friend. I could not trust anyone more.
The definition of neuroses is the worry about things that are not real, and I need to be on guard against them. People easily get near hysterical about the animals they love, and I do not wish to overreact. But I also have to be honest with myself, and with you, and this brings up deep and painful memories, and not just about dogs.
So we’ll see what we can see this morning, and I will keep people posted and will soon be reporting that Red is fine, and walking alongside me again on our journey through life.
It looks like Robin is on her way to becoming another hip Brooklynite, she sported some shades yesterday on her trip to a Brooklyn playground where she is now riding on the swings. I hope she brings them here in two weeks, she is coming for her first visit to Bedlam Farm.
I appreciate starting the work week with a Robin photo, she is doing the Bedlam Farm work of lifting spirits, and on weekends, Emma is usually thoughtful enough to send me a photo. I haven’t seen Robin in a couple of months, and I see she is becoming a blonde. She can use those shades up here, especially out in the pasture.
I’m looking forward to the visit. We have everything but diapers and wipes.
