Maria and i cannot believe how gentle Fate is with Gus, how she lets him climb all over her, pushes her to the ground, grabs her collar and tries to pull her around, pulls toys and treats right out of her mouth. The two seem to adore one another, and Fate has helped the feisty Gus grow confident and strong.
It is true, I see, that small dogs have no idea they are small. Boston Terriers are terriers, after all, and ratters. Surviving Fate is great basic training for a farm dog, but here, Fate’s enduring sweetness comes out. She is too sweet to push sheep around, too sweet to push Gus around, unless that is, he looks away from his treat or rawhide flip for a second, and Fate steals it out from under his trusting nose.
As you know, I love to take portraits of the people I like and love, this one was taken of Robin as she left, we were saying goodbye. She was tired, ready for a nap, but I do think we were each a bit sad to be saying goodbye to each other, we had a lot of fun. They say black and white photographs capture the soul, and I think this one caught a piece of Robin’s soul.
My very beautiful daughter doesn’t care much to be photographed – that has caused some tension between us at times, but my very beautiful granddaughter loves to be photographed, and the camera loves her back.
Our relationship is marked by continuous hellos and goodbyes, we are apart much more than we are together, and the good thing about that is that her growth and evolution is very visible to me, even if we are unlikely to ever know one another really well or be too great a part of the other’s lives.
I am not sad about this, but accepting. This is where I am, and I do not speak poorly of my life or pity myself for the choices I make. My time with Robin is lovely, and I know it matters. I just understand the boundaries of it, nobody is going over the top. Robin seems to know me and laugh with me, although she knows and loves a great many people. That is her nature.
I notice that we are considering one another more carefully. I see her often watching me, trying to place me, trying to figure out who I am and what I am in her life. All the other grandparents use Facetime and they have all assigned themselves names. I don’t have a name for Robin to call me, I’m sure she’ll figure something out and it will not be anything I suggest.
I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I can hardly ever go where everybody else is.
I don’t care for Facetime, it seems forced to me, I really don’t know what to say and she can’t speak in sentences yet, yet I feel pressure to do something, so I babble and she stares back at me. I don’t quite see the value in that. A part of our relationship is trying to figure each of us out over a substantial distance and infrequent visits.
Emma is very conscientious about keeping Robin and I in touch with one another, mostly through the photos and videos and pictures she sends me. She is trying very hard to keep me involved in Robin’s life and I am trying hard also.
Robin and I do seem to reunite quickly and easily, I sense that she knows who I am, if not what I am. There is definitely something there, some chemical connection between a grandparent and child. We are, after all, blood.
I am happy to see her warm relationship with Maria, the two have much fun, playing with dogs, singing and dancing together. I must be honest, I am a bit circumscribed by age with Robin, as I am with little Gus.
I can’t move as quickly as I once did, and have to consider how I will get up before I can sit down on the floor. So our relationship will, by necessity, be more cerebral and less physical. I used to toss Emma up and down into the air and catch her, my former wife did not care for this play, but Emma loved it, although I doubt she recalls it.
I haven’t lost my gift for getting babies to eat, when I’m offering it, food zooms and weaves through the air like a buzzing bee, landing in an often open mouth.
It is heartening to see what a wonderful mother Emma is, she is intuitive, loving, patient and attentive to Robin. Robin is lucky to have a mother like that. In a month or so, I’ll take the train down to New York City and check in. Another hello, another goodbye.
I realized a few hours before my granddaughter Robin came for a brief visit that I hadn’t bought any new toys for her (at least since the last time.) I knew the local hardware store sold some toys for young children, so I drove over there and bought a musical instrument kit that my daughter will hate me for – drums, symbols and rattles.
It was an instant hit. Se picked up the rattle and held it up like a battle flag, and I yelled back at her, “you are a warrior for joy!” She shook it all night.
I call women like this “Sunshine Women,” because their radiant spirits shine, they emote love and tolerance and generosity, even when the world seems dark sometimes. Maria and I got up early to give my daughter Emma a chance to rest, I am reminded how exhausting having a baby is.
I made a fine country breakfast – fresh farm eggs, farm bread, apple bacon thinly cut, coffee – but before that, Maria and I took turns sitting with Robin and playing with her. She loves to dance, and has begun to chat. We sang to one another and said “uh-oh” a few hundred times.
My heart did sing a bit when I saw Maria and Robin having so much fun together, Maria is the most nurturing person I know, although she does not know it. I just loved seeing these two beautiful Sunshine Women together. I welcome Robin into this radiant community.
I am lucky to have two such wonderful women in my family, in my home.
It was a family operation out in the pasture. Red kept the sheep away from us, Fate assisted him, Gus hung out with his new pal Fanny, and Maria and I were introducing Robin to the donkeys. She reached out to touch both Lulu and Fanny several and they stood patiently by while she started and and reached out to them.
For good measure, the chickens were also on hand. We had a short sweet visit with Robin. She is affable and curious and beginning to crawl and stand up. I’m sure she has her moments, but we haven’t seen any of them.
This morning, Maria and I got up early to let Emma sleep a bit. We played on the floor, fed her cheerios, yoghurt and bananas and gave her a tour of the farm. I think she be interested in the donkeys as she gets older. She sat on the floor playing with Gus, mostly tug of war with his toys. He was loving and gentle with her. So was Fate.
They left fairly early Saturday morning, off to Cooperstown and the Baseball Hall Of Fame where Jay is promoting his new book. It was a lovely visit and I think it’s my turn to go see Robin in New York over the next month or so. She’s a neat kid, quick to smile and full of the joy of discovery.
