I am excited about Christmas Week. I got Maria a great present I am working to hide from her. She is razor-sharp and misses nothing and reads me very easily, so she is watching me, but I have hidden the present and will fool her, I believe. We are both very excited to be going to Brooklyn to visit my daughter Emma. We’re staying in Brooklyn, and plan to hit the Brooklyn Museum. We have scoped out a bunch of great restaurant possibilities, using some great Brooklyn Restaurant Ipad apps (Latin American and Asian, looks like) and will be seeing “Tinker, Sailor, Soldier, Spy,” with Em and her boyfriend. We expect to wear out some shoes exploring the world’s hippest and most interesting real estate. The blog will be quiet for a few days around the weekend. No cameras, no computers. Just my wife and my daughter. How sweet is that?

Grief draws a crowd,and when you lose something you love, there is a natural impulse  among kind people to reach out. This one was a bit overwhelming, as the e-mail has passed the 3,000 mark and still coming in. I see several different kinds of people present themselves. The first and largest group present their sympathies and let you know they are thinking of you. The second group presents their sympathies and then presents their own losses in exchange for yours. The third group seems very drawn to grieving, and it is not clear to me whether they are responding to my grief or their own.  They urge me to keep on grieving.

I am not comfortable defining my life by grief and loss. I was much comforted by many of the messages I received and learned quite a bit about me, Rose and this community. It matters to get support. It matters to get comfort. It matters to know that grieving for a dog is worthwhile and important. And it matters to move on, when you can. I will never forget Rose, but I am ready to move forward, to celebrate my life, to celebrate Christmas with my wife and daughter, to explore Brooklyn, to get away from the farm for a few days. So I am into Christmas mode now, excited about the presents I am giving, mulling over the presents I need to think of still.

Christmas has always been an important holiday for me, a time of connection and redemption. I want to focus on the meaning and feeling of it. I thank you for the messages, they were valuable and helpful, but I am not in need of more. I am not in grief or mourning. I am busy hiding my present, and thinking of ways to trick Maria into thinking it is something else.