After much discussion over the weekend, Maria and I decided we want to set the wheels in motion to get another dog. We want another Boston Terrier, and the sooner the better. I know some people need to grieve for longer periods of time, and others find the pain of loss so great they give up the idea of having a dog at all.
That is not our way, or our belief system. People who love dogs ought to have a dog, especially with so many in need of homes. We felt the loss of Gus deeply as was obvious, but speaking for myself, dogs are important to me, and I want to pick up the journey left off by Gus’s too short life.
This morning, I called Robin Gibbons, Gus’s breeder. She has suffered keenly through Gus’s illness and death, when she came over to say goodbye to him, I told her I would be proud to get another dog from her if she bred again, she said she was leaning against. But watching Robin and her son Brian with Gus, I thought she might change her mind.
This morning, she told me she would try to breed Hannah, Gus’s mother in April. If the breeding took, and Hannah had puppies, I said, we would like to bring one home. Robin seemed pleased about that, she tested all of her dogs and the puppies she bred thoroughly, there was no sign of megaesophagus or any other kind of trouble.
Maria and I very much like the idea of getting a dog from Robin, the cause of megaesophagus is unknown, but every vet I have spoken with says it is not passed along through breeding, the researchers believe it is either a virus or is brought during anesthesia during an operation. Gus was neutered.
Dogs are pregnant for about 63 days. The pregnancy is measured from the day that they ovulate (release their eggs) to the day that their puppies are born. Like people, dogs are pregnant for three trimesters, each about 21 days long.
If Hannah’s is bred successfully In April, she would give birth sometime in June. We could take a puppy home in August or September, if Robin agreed to sell us one. Early Fall is a good time to get a puppy. We could get some real space between Gus’s death and our new dog, and it would be warm long enough to housebreak a new dog and acclimate him or her to the farm.
I depend on breeders and vets for guidance on choosing a puppy, and Dr. Fariello and Robin and Maria would all weigh in on any decision.
Gus’s illness deepened our love and respect for Dr. Fariello, no dog owner could ask for more guidance, empathy and competence. Yesterday, we got a lovely letter from her expressing her sorrow over Gus’s death: “I want to thank you both,” she said, “for your clear and concise approach to both his disease and the decision to let him go…I appreciate your taking that responsibility. It was difficult, but never questionable.”
Many of you know one of the great truths about dog love. With every vet, we eventually come to a crossroads. A vet can be a savior, a vet can be a nightmare. A good vet listens and guides. A bad vet preaches and does not listen or hear. Suzanne was wonderful. She listened, she studied, she researched, she experimented. In the end, she comforted.
She respected our wish to take responsibility and supported it. That made all of the difference. We never had the agonizing experience of wondering what the vet thought.
I should be clear about one thing: I have no desire to get another Gus. We’ve done that, this new dog, if it comes, will be him or herself, not Gus. No two people are alike, no two dogs are alike. I live in the present, not the past. And I cannot predict or foretell the future.
I wish to love this new dog in a new way, and for themselves, not for another dog.
Robin is an exceptionally conscientious breeder, and we trust her completely.
And there is something about getting the next dog from her that Maria and I both like and want. Completing the circle, finding closure, a healing thing. We also love keeping this experience within our community. In a sense, I want to continue what Gus started but was unable to finish.
We both loved the Boston Terrier breed.
Gus got on famously with the border collies, he adored Fate and tortured her endlessly. He was a family dog, he loved dozing on the couch in my study, wrestling with me, observing the sheep, riding on a donkey, hanging out with Maria in her studio, playing in the yard with Fate.
Red was a benign and kindly father to Gus, he always let Gus gnaw on him up to a point. When he had enough, he just barked and Gus got the message.
In part, I wanted Gus because I wanted to learn more about the small dog experience, and I was always interested in the Boston Terrier breed. My suspicions were correct. Small dogs are nothing like big dogs. The only thing they have in common is that they are dogs.
Small dogs seem to have no idea that they were small, and imperiously dominate any household they are in. Small as he was, he was more than a match for me. They blend right into the family, and submit to no one. Everything thing in the house is theirs, every thing their business.
They are loyal, affectionate, smart and lovely dogs, and this is definitely a breed with a sense of humor (unlike the border collies, who are all about work, like me and Maria.) We discovered that Gus was good for all of us, we all needed to laugh more and lighten up, and that was Gus’s work. We need to nurture.
We laughed all the time at this ridiculous creature, who made the strangest sounds and was often quite flatulent. In caring for him, our feelings only deepened. I don’t think anyone loves anything more than something you love that is dying.
Everyone should be granted the right to grieve in his own way, and I have done mine and will probably do some more. But life is short, figuratively and literally for me. I am beginning to be old, and I wish to spend my remaining time in life, not loss, meaning, not grief. The more love the better.
There is no statute of limitations on grief, no one way to do it. We grieve as long as we need to grieve, we move on, which we must, when we are ready. I am ready to move on. I believe Maria is as well, she can speak for herself.
A cruel woman assaulted me online the other day because i would not agree to give Gus away to someone with more experience with megasophagus. As a result, she suggested, I killed him needlessly. She said she was furious with me, even as I was filled with sadness. Is there any form of life, I wonder, lower than a person who assaults a grieving fellow human at the height of his pain?
Why do I think of Dracula, feeding off the blood of another?
How different some of us are from one another. It would have violated every ethical and moral code I have to give a sick and suffering dog away to a total stranger just because he or she claimed to know more than I did about the dog’s disease.
It is hard for me to imagine a more cowardly or irresponsible thing to do, so that the dog might suffer much longer and in the hands of a narcissistic stranger who needs to feel good about themselves over my sick dogs body, no less. By what perverted logic is this considered humane?
On top of the discomfort he was already suffering, I would never add the unnecessary trauma of forced relocation to a dog so attached to his life at home when he was so sick and weak. I doubt I would ever sleep again. I respect life, and I respect death. None of us will live forever, no matter how many people might wish to rescue us.
Gus died peacefully and surrounded by the dogs and people and sheep and donkeys that he loved. His suffering is over.
So we are going to get another dog, hopefully the same breed, hopefully the same breeder. The moving finger writes….
You are invited to come along for the next chapter of this journey, you are welcome, good people and bad. Wish me luck.
Why not rescue- so very many other there that would THRIVE and be eternally grateful
Here’s a radical idea, Lc: Why not get the dog I want in the way I want? ..Every dog I have had, rescue or purebred, adopted or purchased, has thrived and been eternally grateful.
Why not you get the dog you want, and leave my decision to me and my wife? Your message seems arrogant to me. I would wager that I have rescued many more animals in my lifetime than you have – dogs, chickens, goats, a steer, donkeys, sheep and roosters. I think I managed to make decisions about them without your assistance. I intend to keep that record going.
I’m so happy to hear this. I always enjoyed reading stories about Gus and your experiences living with a small dog. I look forward to hearing stories about your new dog, as you discover their unique personality. Best of luck to you and Maria.
I wish you the love of a new dog, Jon. No one could have been as conscientious and loving as you and Maria were during a very difficult and painful time. Gus brought great joy to all of us. He really did. We’ll miss his antics but there is room and love for another dog, too. I look forward to seeing and hearing about it as it unfolds. My best wishes to you and Maria.
Thanks Ma, that is just the right message, sensitive and thoughtful and thanks for it..
i cannot but wonder if a Boston Terrier is best suited for a farm environment given their propensity to eat anything they can put in their mouth. One theory about megaesophagus is that it is caused by toxins. Sheep & donkey droppings may be considered to be toxins when ingested on a daily basis. Are you planning on using the muzzle you were required to keep on Gus to stop him from eating those “terrible things” on your next Boston Terrier from the start? There are no easy answers to how to prevent a mysterious illness that Gus’s litter mates did not exhibit but Gus did… it suggests a possible environmental cause. I hope everything works out for you and your next pup.
Bob, there are healthy and happy BT’s on farms all over the country, and many near me. The farmers consider them great farm dogs. Me too. Other than Gus, none I know of according to local vets has gotten megaesophagus. Nobody knows what causes it, there are many theories, including anesthesia during medical procedures, or certain viruses. I believe Gus ate so much junk because he was hungry, he was not processing the food normally. It just took us awhile to see it. The other BT’s I know on farms are not as ravenous.
I do not imagine a new dog will need a muzzle, but if he or she does, we will deal with it. They are very athletic and hardy dogs, they just need some support and care in the winter. Gus loved to be outside in the cold, and never shivered or wanted to come in, except on the coldest days. When he was cold, he went right to the door. There is no scientific support for the idea that Gus’s illness was environmental. The border collies eat sheep droppings and chicken droppings, as do Labs and many other breeds – for dogs this is a natural behavior on a farm. They don’t contract megaesophagus.
We worm all of our dogs, and all of them have had worm or other issues from time to time. Any dog on a farm does. My Lab ate much more garbage than Gus.
As you said, there are no easy answers, and I hope and expect we will not see this problem again. Nor do I believe – the vets I have talked to agree – that there is any reason to not get this breed because of Gus’s illness, or to suspect the breeding line. It has not occurred anywhere else in the line. Sometimes, life happens, and I accept and respect that. We don’t always have certainty, and I appreciate your thoughtful concerns. I will share the experience.
Good for you for realizing that you need another dog, and for being open to getting one! I can think of no better way to honor Gus’ memory and the gifts that he brought to you and Maria.
Thanks Ann..
Jon,
Thank you for your writing over these many years. I have been a delighted fan of yours ever since Running to the mountain. I am so pleased that you are ready to
welcome another dog into your home. You are a great example to the rest of us,
With your work with the Mansion residents. Keep on loving and helping!
Thanks Lou Ann.
You do you. We lost a beloved dog on a Saturday morning. Sunday afternoon we had another dog. That dog now needed us more than our dead dog. It was the right decision for us. Can’t replace, but you can get another. It worked for us. Somewhere out there is a dog that would love living on a farm.
Good for you, Rachel, it works for me too..If I could get the dog tomorrow, I would. Thanks for writing.
Would you know why I get this message Invalid security token each time I try to post to you?
Jan, I have no idea. Since no one else is reporting this problem, it is almost certainly an issue with your browser. I can’t offer tech support, you would have to check with someone on your end, my guess is your software is old and needs updating, but that would be a guess.
YAY! So happy to learn you have made the decision to get another Boston!!! A good breeder is worth his/her weight in gold. Sounds like yours is a gem. I wish you both all the happiness that puppy breath will bring!!!!
Thanks much, Robin is a wonderful breeder, she fights for the best qualities in dogs. It would be wonderful if we could get another dog from her, and I think it would be good for her as well.
Looking forward to the next chapter of your journey. I wish you good luck in finding your dog…you ‘ll find the dog that is right for you, I’m sure.
I knew it! This is Wonderful news!
Thanks Catherine…
Hooray! Another doggie chapter in Bedlam Farm will be coming soon. Gus was a delight and I enjoyed viewing his growth and antics. I grieved over his loss even as I suspected it was coming having seen pictures of him & Brian saying goodbye. I think another Boston Terrier from Robin will slide right into the farm and into our hearts. Best wishes to you and Maria and thanks for letting us in on the delight of a new dog. He or she will be well cared for at Bedlam Farm. Bev
Wonderful!!! What else can I say? You’ve almost convinced me to reserve a puppy from Robin! I’ve been looking at the idea of getting a small dog and Bostons are one of the breeds I’ve been considering. I look forward to hearing about your adventures with another small dog! Living with one is clearly a bit different from living with a big dog. I learn from your experiences.
Can’t do better than Robin, though I suspect she has a pretty good list by now..
Hooray for you both. Life is too short to wait for a proper length of time to grieve. I put down my beloved Annie who was treated with everything from acupuncture, Chinese herbs and specialists for her kidney disease. I believe we gained a good 2 years of quality life for her but I promised her and myself I would not try to just keep her going. Within a month of losing Annie I was on the phone with Annie’s breeder. I couldn’t live without a dog in my life. I wanted the breed I loved. 5 months later I brought home Lucy. Same breed,same color, same sex. I continued to grieve Annie and I still think of her everyday but Loving Lucy has been a completely different journey and a very sweet one . Such different dogs and each one perfect for me at that time in my life. I refuse to be guilted by others who think I should have rescued. I give generously to shelters and reserve my right to choose the type of dog I resonate with and in return I will love and care for with all my heart. Very life affirming news!
Okay! I’m happily along for the new puppy ride. And maybe you’ll have a new puppy by the Open House. Fingers crossed.