Red came home today from the vet after a long day of X-rays and examinations and tests.
There is no final diagnosis yet. And he is in poor condition tonight, after an up and down night and day.
Dr. Fariello believes Red’s paralysis might be caused by a spinal fracture and arthritis, but she said she couldn’t yet rule out a neurological issue.
In our frantic world, we expect instant answers, but that is not always possible in real life, and away from social media.
Dr. Fariello said Red’s hips were in excellent condition, according to the X-rays, and so were the pictures of his legs.
Red came out of the examining room walking, I was happy to see that, but then had a minor relapse outside, we had to carry him to the car, and then back into the house.
Since he was sedated, we thought that might be the cause of his confusion and disorientation.
But it isn’t that simple.
Over the next few minutes, it was apparent that the relapse was not minor.
Red has once again lost the use of his rear legs. It was a repeat of last night. He is whimpering again, and his legs are splayed underneath him.
His eyes are open, he refuses food.
The spinal X-ray shows a possible spinal fracture, but his symptoms also square with some neurological problems.
We will have to see if the inflammatory medication eases his discomfort and brings him some focus.
When we got Red back into the living room on his bed, he was clearly paralyzed once again in his rear legs, they dangled and were splayed. He was unresponsive to his name or to me or Maria. What we need to see is whether the next few days bring some relief or permanent change.
Obviously, he can’t be working now, but I will try to exercise him without sheep around if and when he can walk again. He did recover somewhat this morning, before we took him to the vet, but he was not nearly himself.
So we are really no further along than we were last night, except we can begin to rule some things out.
The truth is we just don’t know what’s wrong with Red, his symptoms don’t clearly fit any real diagnosis, they are somewhat contradictory and mystifying.
If he were human, he’d be getting an MRI by now. Dr. Fariello thinks the anti-inflammatory medication might help, and she wants to do acupuncture as well, starting in a week.
This does bring back echoes of Gus, we struggled for months to get him through his megaesophagus and failed. He was not in nearly as much pain as Red, and I am reminded that my job as a steward is to make sure Red doesn’t suffer too much or for too long.
I also need to give him a fair chance to get better. It’s ironic, with our dogs we often have to play God and be God. They can’t talk to use or guide us.
There were hundreds of messages of concern and good wishes, they were appreciated, they mattered to me and to Maria.
A small number of people started sending aggressive and impatient messages to me during the day demanding to know about Red, and I did try to be understanding, but it is not helpful for people to do that.
If I know something, I will share it. Nobody needs to pressure me to write, I write as much for me as anyone else, it is how I make sense of the world.
One person wrote that because Maria and I were happy about the selling of her wool, then Red must of course be okay. She was immensely relieved. She was wrong.
I ought to say that despite being deeply concerned about Red’s condition, I will continue to find joy and comfort in the rest of my life, I’m not into drama or lament, I respect life and accept it’s decisions.
And I will continue to write about other things, I don’t want to drown in this. It doesn’t have any meaning for Red and his condition, one way or the other.
We are planning another phone conference with Dr. Fariello, I sent her videos of Red relapsing, we will try to keep him comfortable. I am fine giving this some time to work out, I am not okay with Red suffering like this for too many days. Maria agrees.
I have faith that if he gets well, or if he doesn’t, I will know it. I know him well, so in that sense, he will let me know by how he is, not by what he says.
Holding all of you in my heart.
Love and prayers!!
Oh I do not envy you your decisions in the days to come. My prayer is that Red not suffer even though it may mean suffering for you and Maria. Animals are such a gift to us humans. Thank you for your compassion and understanding of this life of ours.
XOXOXO to you all!
Every pet owner has likely experienced similar things, I believe…..and it is the uncertainty of how it will play out that is so unsettling and concerning (to put it mildly). I know in my heart that you will do what is best for Red, of that I have no doubt. May he be free of discomfort, that is my biggest wish. You all remain in my heart and I send my own special prayers for all of you.
Susan M
NOt easy to go through, just went through almost the same thing last week with my border..we did what we thought was best for her at 12 years old. We all have to do what we think is right in our hearts for us and our own animals as I know you have also done all these years…sending good thoughts to you, Maria and most of all Red.
Dear Jon and Maria,
Thank you, Jon, for sharing this much about Red’s condition. You are a true steward for Red. I This is such a difficult balancing act–doing enough testing to get the information you need without going over the top–giving it time, and making a timely decision; listening to the veterinarian, listening to each other, and all important– listening and trying to hear Red. All of us with companion animals have been thru this, probably more than once, and it is never easy. I love border collies, having had two–the sensitivity of such a precious soul as Red just busts your heart wide open. Every photo and every story you have posted about Red has touched me and opened my heart. I know what a treasure he is to you and you to him. I too hold you all in my heart now, a heart that has been enriched by your ongoing generous sharing of your lives with Red and all the other wonderful companions. Thank you! Sending love and healing thoughts! I am so hoping Red’s work still isn’t over, but I know you will know at the right time. What a giving and loving and dedicated boy he is!
I know. You know your dog. And I am not offering advice. SImply sharing a similar situation. Do with it what you will. My English Shepherd (like big lazy border collies) had a bad rash, back legs quit and was lethargic. Came on suddenly one night. X-rays showed nothing major. Ultrasound same. Blood work showed some infection but not enough to bring down a big working dog. No Lyme; did not test for other tick diseases. We are close to Cornell so had his workup there. If I could get him on his feet, he could stand and walk – wobbly. But could not – in any way shape or form – struggle to his feet on his own. Whimpered. Awful time. About a week of meds – antibiotics, anti-inflamatories, and prednisone (which made him pee where he slept – ugh.) They never did figure it out but slowly it got better. The best we can figure is that it was some type of wildly out of proportion reaction to a tick or flea bite. You know your dog best – and your vet. Each situation is different.
Red ♥️…. the extraordinary creature with the huge heart that has the world rooting for a speedy recovery and many more nights lounging by the fire or under the writers desk. Sending positive healing energy and big hugs… you have a lot more adventures ahead in life but maybe take it easy on keeping the sheep in order. Back injuries/sprains take time to heal… the hips are in good shape so rest good boy. There is no need to tend to others right now. Please share my sentiments with him. ?
Thank you for the update. I hope people aren’t flooding you with treatment advice (I know that isn’t what you want or need!). Having “seen” how Dr Susan handled the tick disease last year, it is clear that she has Red’s, and your, best interests at heart. These situations are always so difficult. Sending thoughts of strength to you, Maria, and Red.
I’ve followed your dogs since your Labs in A Dog Year. Each of them have had a special quality, but I never doubted that Red has been the dog of a lifetime. Thinking of all of you at Bedlam Farm with an infinite dose of positive energy for Red.
My hope for Red is to recover keeping everyone in my thoughts and may the best Carr he is receiving help
Thinking of Red and you and Maria tonight…
Good thoughts and energy to Red, You, and all at Bedlam Farm.
Thanks for the information on Red. I had been wondering how it was going, but hoped the news would be better.
Thank you for the update. Red is fortunate to be in the care of capable, loving people. You’ve got this.
It’s heartbreaking to see them sick. I feel when the time comes we have to let go. Sad but true.
Thinking of you all and sending positive thoughts.
Jon, I greatly respect your stewardship of your life and that of your animals, including Red. Having also raised, trained and owned working dogs I have empathy for you. My deepest thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
Blessings, Marilyn Erb, California
Hi Jon, I am holding Red in the light as well as Maria and you. I know you will do whatever is best for Red. Love, Janet
?, this is and must be so hard, I can only say that I had a terrible and tear jerking situation with vestibular disease with my sweet Anna, she had bouts with similuar symptoms and she would rebound .
I know you know when it’s time and will do what is best for Red. It was hard but in the end when she could no longer rebound, I knew she was telling me it’s time. Love to all at Bedlam
And may the lord give you strength and comfort to Red.
Not offering treatment advice, just a tip for a temporary mobility aid. If Red can use his front legs, you can fold a towel lengthwise and run it under his hindquarters, holding the ends above him in your hands. This rear-end support can help him move around and maybe save your back and legs from having to lift all of him off the ground. It’s just a temporary fix for getting him to and from the car, for example.
Good luck – wishing all the best for you all.
I think comparing our experience to the experience of others is how we achieve empathy. Good writing calls up memories. Well done you.
It would be impossible not to love Red. He’s such a kind gentleman, such a bright spirit in a world of madness.
I have one dog that sleeps in my bed and controls the household. It’s hard to care for another animal you know has a life span shorter than your own. But once the heart goes in you just have to accept that fate.
You and Maria accept the pain that is involved loving your animals so much you spare them suffering when it is apparent that is the last act of kindness you can give them. May you both be richly blessed by the Great Mother.
So sorry about Red. I pray he will get better but if not I know you will make the right decision..so hard to see Red in pain. I know you give him lots of love and care. What ever happens I send you my blessings.