I have angina, a heart condition that causes chest pain when there isn’t enough blood flowing to one part of your heart.

I carry nitroglycerin capsules in a silver case Maria made for me. The second I was diagnosed, I told Maria I’d love to have a  case just like General Vladimir carried in Smiley’s People, just like General Vladimir in Smiley’s People, the wonderful novel by John Le Carre.

And Maria, being the great heart that she is, had one made for me, and I carry it everywhere even though I’ve never had to use the pills.

Le Carre’s Vladimir was partly modeled after an Estonian emigre who lived in London and who led the Estonian portion of the British Secret Service’s Estonian operation in 1950’s. (Sorry, I love minutia like that.)

My angina occurs infrequently, and goes away rapidly.

It find it occurs with me when the weather is cold and sharp, as it suddenly was today, when an Arctic wind came down from Canada just as the dogs and I were out doing the chores (Maria was cleaning up after our wallpaper scraping afternoon in the bedroom.)

I had a sudden pressure in my chest, and a dull but distinct pain.

The symptoms of angina are much like a heart attack, but I know the difference, and I got out of the wind and went into the Pole Barn, and the pain and tightness went away.

I am fortunate to have had my open heart surgery, and to have my heart remind me from time to time to live thoughtfully.

Red, whose consciousness is somehow wired into mine, was sitting near the gate but he suddenly got up and came around the corner to see where I was and what was happening to me. He never gets up in the pasture without being called, I can’t imagine how he even knew just where i was.

At such moments, I think of Buck in The Call Of The Wild, my favorite do book, written well before dogs were so emotionalized. Red does have my back, always.

I imagine that one day the heart attack is  real, it’s most often the heart that kills people. I had this curious feeling that I hope Red was long gone before it came.

I think it would be hard on him. I worry he would think he failed somehow. He worries about me.

People understand what’s happening, but dogs can only sense trouble.

The cold wind came up so suddenly, Bud ran to the back door and scratched to be let in. I came out of the Pole Barn and took some deep b breaths, the arctic wind is beautiful and strong.

And the night sky very rarely lets me down.