The sweetest messages I’ve gotten since writing about politics have come from people thanking me for trying to help them understand Donald Trump and  Trumpism and to prepare for a bitter and nail-biting election.

As the campaign enters a critical period, I thought I ought to revisit the subject of surviving Trump and Trumpism – and the election –  again.  And to remind myself that nobody holds a patent on virtue.

The news is only going to get more challenging. People are frightened.

Some things to remember:

The more media you watch, the more anxious and angry (and obsessed) you will become.

This will affect your work, your sex life, your relationships with partners and children, and friends.

I understand the news will mostly be disturbing because that is what the news has become. That is what brings Fox News and MSNBC and CNN roughly a billion dollars each a year in profits – conflict,  worry, and grievance.

They are not institutions of conscience; they are vampires, drinking our blood, and draining our spirit for money. A study found that there is very little new news on cable channels.

They repeat the noise hundreds of times a day. You don’t need to hear the news hundreds of times a  day. It very rarely has anything to do with the lives of real people like you.

Ordinary lives have vanished from the news, so has love and kindness. It’s hard to forget that so many people just want to live their lives.

The stakes are high. People are good, given a chance. I think this is a chance to see ourselves in a different way, and in so doing, begin to change the world.

And everyone is paying attention.

So I ration the news.  I choose it carefully. I listen in small doses. I don’t need to hear what everybody is saying everywhere, and watching people argue for money.

I meditate in the morning for 10 or 15 minutes. And I have a quiet hour every afternoon around 3 p.m. I walk the dog, read a book, or just sit quietly with some music. These things work for me.

People with anxiety and worry might do well to find their points of peace and calm. Summer soldiers will have a rough time over these next months.

The best thing I did was to decide never to argue politics with anyone, on either side. I don’t argue my beliefs. I just speak them out loud. I don’t need to justify them or change the minds of other people.

I do not believe for a second that I am always right and can’t learn from other people.

First, it’s essential to understand that Trumpism is a movement, not just a person. Its real slogan should be Angry White People Who Were Left Behind. If you study data, that’ s pretty much the way it breaks down.

America is filled with people who were oppressed or left behind – Native Americas, women, black people, Jews, Irish, Japanese-Americans, Latinos, immigrants,  gay and trans people.

People who care about politics tend to think they are purer than their opponents, who must be evil. I’ve learned to argue against my self, to make sure I see things from other shoes.

It is hard to stay grounded when each side thinks it is fighting for civilization. I don’t see a lot of angels in this struggle; Trump is not the devil, Biden is not Gandhi.

To me, it is healthier to see these issues as disagreements rather than fending off the Apocalypse.  Our civic life needed a shake-up; its arteries were clogged. Trump did that. And much more than that.

The real problems come when we only speak to ourselves and not to one another. That will take a lot of hard work, and I’m not sure I see a leader yet who can handle it.

If you can find a political opponent who wants to have a conversation rather than an argument, I’d recommend it.

It has done wonders for me to see and learn that there are good people on the other side of this empty canyon. And to realize that each side switches sides all the time.

What they are passionate about today, they often opposed yesterday.

The so-called progressives and the so-called right both forgot that rural people were also left behind.

Over many years, that gave birth to Trumpism – this pocket of seething resentment of elites, of urban people, of government, of the  Democrats who betrayed them with their trade deals.

Demagogues appear when governments lie to people, and farmers and rural people, like blacks and women and factory workers, have been lied to for many years.

It’s important to remember that there are legitimate grievances all around, all of them made worse by a system that no longer tolerates negotiation or compromise. It can’t listen, only talk.

It isn’t just the Trumpists who do that; the Democrats are just as unyielding.

Trump’s supporters often say that they like him because he does what he says he will do.

That often puzzles me, because it ultimately leaves out the real question about governing: that is whether what he says he will do is the right thing to do.

That may be what the election is all about. Perhaps it will come up.

I can testify that people who believe in conspiracy theories are not looking for civil dialogues with people like you or people like me.

Many seem to assume that anyone critical of the President must be a left-wing radical socialist puppet and conspirator. Labeling poisons thought.

Leave them alone. You won’t change their minds, and they won’t change yours. Let them do what they need to do.

It is a great mistake to label all of Trump’s followers similarly –  as weak-minded or bigoted. If you want to talk about politics civilly, it’s worth the trouble to find somebody who wants to do it and doesn’t think you are a socialist from Hell.

Living in the country, I’ve had no trouble finding those people. But most urban people don’t live in the country, and most rural people have never met an immigrant or many African-Americans.

There we are.

You can return the favor and not presume the person you speak with is hiding a Klan hood. Life has taught me to be more humble. I don’t have all the answers or even many.

Everyone has it worse than I do.

Trump didn’t cause this splitting of the country; he is a symptom of it.

I work hard to see him as a human being who represents something important, even as I am shocked by his cruelty and arrogance.

I try hard to understand it, not just to attack it.

The system is broken, and this conflict is a consequence of it.

One reason is that our Congress doesn’t solve problems any more, it just sits on them and waits for them to hatch. That makes everybody angry, no one ever really prevails.

President Obama also decided to bypass this constipated system and govern by decree. It didn’t work for him, it won’t work for President Trump.

Money has corrupted our civic system from top to bottom, including our courts. Congress doesn’t work for the people of the left or the right; it works for people and businesses with a lot of money.

I am not pure and blameless in this mess., I have no right to rage at anyone.

I didn’t know what was happening in rural America, and I was stunned by the videos of black men getting shot by the police.

I just don’t see a lot of angels around, in the campaigns or outside of them, and certainly not on Twitter or Facebook.

This political crisis has been building for decades, and the Democrats are as much to blame as President Trump. All this chastens me; it has knocked me off of my high horse.

The death of George Floyd has reminded me of the importance of listening.

I think that is the right message for this campaign. Turn the heat down in your head and heart and get off of social media.

There is no more futile or frustrating and useless waste of time than arguing with people on Facebook or Twitter. It accomplishes nothing and disturbs everyone.

It’s the medium of choice for the bad guys, an alliance from Hell between tech money-grubbers and dishonest people.

I am looking past Trump and into the future, which will be difficult. But it is also compelling. We do have a chance to do better; I believe that.

If it makes people feel any easier, there are good reasons to believe Trumpism will fail in November, at least for now. But we won’t wake up to find ourselves in Nirvana after November the tough work begins.

The battle will just pick up where it left off unless someone is open to trying something new.

It seems many Americans do want a kinder America, and that is something to feel good about.

I’m not going with the other conspiracy theorists who believe Trump will try to overturn the election and seize our government I do not think that will happen,  or that it is possible.

It is just another conspiracy theory.

There are enough of those.

The most respected political poll year after year – they even did well in 2016 – is the New York Times- Sienna poll, which was published this morning.

This is, for me, the soundest guideline into how the election is shaping up.

The poll found that Joe Biden has a commanding lead over the President – 14 points – leading among women and nonwhite voters and losing support from white voters.

Biden has the support of 50 percent of expected voters; Trump has 36 percent.

In a divided country, that is a very significant lead at this point in a presidential campaign. Five months is not a lot of time to win the minds and hearts of millions of people who are fixed in their positions.

The campaign seems set to me, setting in concrete.

The pandemic and the racial turmoil tells us we won’t have a booming economy any time soon.

Perhaps we will be forced to face up to things we have been avoiding. Americans are learning that government is important and that they need leaders who care.

That is important.

The poll also found that Biden – without even campaigning –  is making deep inroads with traditionally Republican-leading groups that have moved away from Trump following what they see as his ineffective response to the coronavirus pandemic.

Can Trump still win? Of course. But not today or tomorrow.

I’ve always been a betting man; I lived off of horse race betting for a couple of years.

I follow the odds, not emotions when it comes to politics. Hate is blinding; it hurts the hater as well as the object of hatred. I recommend living in the new. Today, Trump appears to be losing. I’ll deal with tomorrow.

Taking this one day at a time helps me.

When I get upset or anxious, I look for ways to do some good. It is a tonic, and more people need help in our country right now than at any time in my lifetime.

Helping the refugees and the old grounds me brings me joy and hope, keeps me focused on the good in the world. I’m more peaceful and grounded than I ever was before 2016.

It is easy to do, and there is great need everywhere. That is my answer to Trumpism and the selfish greed that lies at its heart for me.

What makes people nervous, I think, is when they accept the idea that Trump or Biden are monsters that must be stopped at all costs. That will sure keep people up at night.

Trump might be unfit for office, and Biden might be demented and frail, but I’d rather see this as a contest between two radically different ideas about government, and a wish by everyone I know, on either side, for a calmer and more peaceful and human time.

Perhaps that’s all we can hope for now, it would be a miracle to me. And it might just happen.

Like the pandemic, this election offers me the chance to be better, and do better, to look for ways to grow and listen and learn. I’m grateful to be writing about it.

For me, it is time to forget 2016.  Nothing stays the same in politics for four years.

I have no desire to carry that load or be consumed by it.

If you believe that Trump is a threat to our democracy, then I would imagine you are doing something about it beyond staying awake and fretting and fighting with people on Twitter.

If you believe Joe Biden is a socialist, you are drinking the wrong liquid in the morning.

I chose to see them as very different people, with very different agendas and followers.

My work is to keep my head and peace of mind and think clearly.

Today, there is much reason to think of change and be hopeful.

This is 2020; I wake up every morning in a different world.

We live in a democracy, and democracies are often messy. They are still better than anything else I know of. We are all waking up to what it means to be an American.

A lot of us forgot.

Fear is geography; just a space to cross. It is so much better to do good than argue about good.

Time to get a deep breath and be citizens.