1 April

The Return Of The I Phone, Flower Patrol, Monday April 1, April Fool’s Day

by Jon Katz

I need to pay attention to my Iphone camera, which is excellent at capturing color and detail. All the photos below are from the Iphone 15 Pro Max; my artsy, fartsy abstract flower photos will be posted on the site later today. I want to take both kinds of photos, and thanks to Sue at the Cambridge Flower Shop, I’m getting the chance. I’m glad April is here, but we just heard they expect a big snowstorm mid-week. Mother Nature has her mysterious way.

Plus, here is a letter I received this morning just as the April one arrived:

“Dear Mr. Katz, you might remember me, Jade. I’m the young woman who called you at various times a cat abuser,  a white man of privilege, a fascist pig, a thief and scam artist, a pedophile and exploiter, a liar and coward, and a vicious person who cannot tolerate disagreement or criticism. I’ve also read online that you kill puppies out in your barn if they misbehave and that you murdered one of your border collies because he misbehaved.

I want to apologize for sending those messages. When you stopped posting my messages and arguing with me and then blocked me, the fun of tormenting you disappeared. I decided to shift gears and do good instead. You seem to be getting away with it. And it has to pay better than trolling. As you might imagine, the people I work with can be grumpy, and they never like my jokes.

You suggested that I am a troll, and that may be the case, or at least it was. I’ve got a new job. I believe you are everything I said you were, but my grandmother, like yours, scolded me and told me I needed to stop being rude and learn to mind my business. I want to respect you for our differences, not call you impolite names. And I hope you choke to death on a carrot…Sorry, I slipped there; I don’t know you at all; it’s just a job.  I hope you will forgive this in time; I’m joining the LITTLE SISTERS OF THE POOR MISSION.

Trolling is great fun, but it pays shit, and  I have bills to pay also. And we have to be more excellent to each other. I want to feel your pain as well as cause it.

 (The Little Sisters of the Poor are an international congregation of Roman Catholic women. They were a religious organization founded in 1839 by Saint Jeanne Jugan. Together with a diverse network of collaborators, we serve the elderly and poor in over 30 countries worldwide. )

I promise I will mind my own business from now on and help needy people rather than attack them or people like you. It pays shit, and there are no benefits, and hurting people for no reason gets boring after a while. I hope you will give Zip a better home where he can sleep inside in the winter and then kill all your flowers to keep the dog safe from poisoning..whoops, it’s not my business. Bye.  

I’m told that being cruel and lying are sins, so I won’t commit them anymore. Happy April Fools Day, and good luck, Jade.”


Jude, thanks for writing. I know you’ll make a great  Little Sister Of The Poor; stay in touch, your new friend Jon. Send some food to the Cambridge Food Pantry, and all will be well between us.



Pansy Power.

The Iphone captures colors beautifully.

Welcome to April. A big snowstorm is scheduled for Wednesday.


  1. So entertaining. Haha. Well done. And now I want to figure out how to take better pictures in my iPhone!

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