Bedlam Farm Blog Journal by Jon Katz

16 May

Late Afternoon: Zip And Me, Fanny And Me, Hills And Me

by Jon Katz

It was a sweet afternoon. I was very happy to get home and very tired. I woke up at 3 a.m., and I was worried about seeing the doctor about my foot. It turned out all right. I’m going to get my brace repaired next week.

I’ve just been through so much with my foot, and I just want it to be all better. Wishful thinking.

I don’t need it to be all better, just better. That is happening. I had a good long cuddle with Zip and did one of my favorite things on the farm—brushing donkeys and their buts (they love to have their buts rubbed).

Every afternoon, if I can, I sit in the blue chair, wait for a cat to pop up, and walk gently up and into my army. I scratch him and listen to the purring and the birdsong.  It’s beautiful for me.

You are invited to come along and sit with me while I sit in the blue chair and think about my life.

 

 

Zip stayed for a half hour today; he’s focused on the front lawn, home of the moles.

Fanny is my girl; Lulu is Maria’s girl. I love brushing them and do it as often as I remember. Very often in the summer, they love to roll in mud and dirt.

Zip is working to charm the sheep. It’s working out for him.

Donkeys in the sun.

St. Joseph and his skies.

16 May

Home Again. Some Problems To Fix. But I Didn’t End Up In The Hospital!

by Jon Katz

My foot has been with me all of my life, and for almost every day of that, I’ve had problems. It’s a valued foot but a difficult one. I couldn’t begin to count the doctors, orthopedic specialists, podiatrists, and surgeons who have taken a whack at it.

(Photo, Maria, she hung my red summer hat on my foot).

Of all of that, my current doctor, Dr. Pamely Daly, a brilliant podiatric surgeon, has come the closest to getting me talking comfortably without pain or trouble.

To do that, she rebuilt my food, seven or eight surgeries, including amputating my big toe.

But there will be problems. My foot has its ideas and is continuing to collapse, causing more trouble. This is the nature of life; it changes, evolves, and devolves constantly.

Only so much can be done, especially as I get older, and we have done a lot – Dr. Daly has rebuilt my foot, and I wear a brace that helps. As was predicted, the brace itself has become a problem, wearing out under the pressure of the rest of my body.

My hiking plans for a Vermont mountain will have to wait again.

(In case you missed it, I wrote early today about the need for cereal boxes to reach the Cambridge Food Pantry. You can find three cereals to buy and send here on the Pantry Wish List. They are out of cereal, one of the children’s favorite foods.

In the meantime, I’m back to my surgical boots before the brace repairs next week. Yuk. I can shower every day, though, which is something I am grateful for.

So, next week, I’m headed to Albany with a new prescription for the brace. The good news is that I didn’t have to go to the hospital today and won’t have to go next week. A specialist will rebuild while I stand there in front of him.

I’m happy to be back home. I went outside, took some flower photos, brushed the donkeys—one of the most soothing activities—and sat on the blue chair with Zip. He was reticent, calm, and affectionate to me.

They do know when something is up. Zinnia too.

I sometimes get discouraged by my stubborn and independent foot, but we are partners for life. I won’t amputate any more of him.

I have photos of almost all those lovely things and will post them later.

Yes, I am sometimes deflated and discouraged, but I am grateful to others—at least I can walk. I am also thankful for the excellent and hard work I have put on my foot.

I have to admit I’m attached to him, literally and emotionally.

16 May

Need Some Help: Cereal Crisis At The Food Pantry, And A Foot Crisis At Home.

by Jon Katz

The truest thing I ever wrote was at the end of my book Running To The Mountain: “Life is full of crisis and mystery.” It is so true. It was true again last night.

Around bedtime, two crises and mysteries popped up at the same time. The Cambridge Food Pantry ran out of boxes of cereal to give to the children and families who depend on the pantry for food. Sarah Harrington asked for my help. We are the best shot she has at getting some quickly.

It was no one’s fault—the luck of the draw and the sometimes unpredictable need for food. I told Sarah I would write about it today and hopefully get some cereal boxes moved to the pantry.

She posted three of them on the Pantry Wish List, so I knew she was anxious to get some.

The three cereals are Honey Bunches Of Oats Honey Roasted Breakfast Cereal, Honey Oats Cereal with Granola Clusters, 12 Oz Box (Pack of 2), $5.98; Total Breakfast Cereal, 100 per cent Daily Value of 11 Vitamins & Minerals, Whole Grain Cereal, 16 Oz, $4.98; Life Breakfast Cereal, Cinnamon, 13 oz. Boxes (3 pack), $8.62.

At the same time, my infamous foot – you may have read about it once or twice – showed some signs of trouble, and I’m rushing off to see my trusted Surgical Podiatrist, Dr. Daly, this morning.  I might end up in the hospital – diabetic stuff – hopefully, I’ll be coming home.

I got up early to post this cereal appeal on the blog. For $4 or $5, we could make a real difference. The great thing about the Internet is that you can send a message quickly and efficiently.

Sarah is the pantry’s executive director.

When I told her Maria and I couldn’t do our volunteer work this morning, she kindly sent me a message: “I’m so sorry. I hope you’re okay. Take care. Don’t give the pantry another thought.” But I’m afraid it’s too late; my mind doesn’t work that way. The pantry is in my head.

(Above, I call this the Army Of Good rack; the children’s food we send is stored for today’s backpack loading. I wish I could be there.)

I promised I would get a cereal message up, and here it is. I love keeping promises, even though it isn’t always possible.

I keep thinking of those kids without their cereal. If a bunch of us can send even one box of cereal, they’ll have enough when they show up for their weekly allotment of food. That’s a lot of good for a few dollars.

I’m sending two or three boxes and taking off for the doctor’s appointment.   See you later. Dr. Daly will probably yell at me for not calling her last night. I think we caught this one in time.

Sarah spends a lot of her life opening boxes and breaking them down.

15 May

Flower Art Show Today: A Tribute To The Wildflower, Free And Gorgeous

by Jon Katz

I’m having a belated love affair with the wildflowers Maria picks on her walks into the woods and brings home to me. She knows exactly what I am looking for and what touches my spirit. These wildflowers were picked this morning and photographed during the day outside.

These seem like special images to me, different. I’m not sure why or how, but I feel a different energy from them; they are not fancy or groomed. They pop up out of the ground all by themselves. I plan on getting to know them a lot better this summer.

Maria is out at belly dancing class tonight. I’m still working, and it’s a busy day. I am going to sign off; see you tomorrow. I just learned that the Cambridge Panty has something of a cereal crisis: they don’t have any.

I’ll write about it in the morning.

Enjoy the pictures. There is something special about them.

On-cut flowers and a bunch of wildflowers. They go together.

 

Soul of a flower.

 

A secret and inner world.

The wildflowers mix beautifully with the Lilac bushes.

15 May

Feeding Hope, Gratitude And Compassion, Not Suffering. Appreciating Even WalMart.

by Jon Katz

Like everyone I’ve ever known, I’ve experienced some suffering in my life. It comes with life, but so do hope, compassion, and, yes, even love.  I learned this vital lesson late in life.

I had starved love to the point where I had none and expected to die without ever having experienced it. For me, feeding love was believing in and being open to it. That was the hard part. Once I did, love appeared within days. I’ve always had good things, but I could not see them.

Nothing can survive without food, not even suffering, writes Thich Nhat Hanh. “For love to survive, we have to feed it. If we don’t feed it, or we feed it the wrong kind of nutrients, our love will die. In a short time, our love can turn into hate“.

I see the truth of that in the news.

I’m intrigued by the idea of feeding love, joy, beauty, and hope. All require attention and nourishment, just like a flower. I know what  Hanh means. I often thought of my suffering, anger, grievances, and disappointment.  I never thought of hope.

Today, I wake up in the practice of gratitude and appreciation. They are nutrients.  I don’t think of what I don’t have, but what I do have, and despite my blindness, could always have had.

So, every morning, I feed love and compassion, count my blessings, and list the things I can be grateful for. The list always astonishes me, but the good stuff gets fed to keep it vital and alive. Feeding this makes a big difference. It sticks after a while.

The photo above shows what I see driving home on Route 68 in Vermont after buying T-shirts for the Mansion residents’ Fourth of July celebration at a Walmart. They plan to color them all red, white, and blue. Wal-Mart always makes me uncomfortable; it is overwhelming, confusing, and destroys countless small businesses.

But I got different-sized T-shirts for 35 residents in all the different sizes for $110.

I was concerned about spending a lot on T-shirts when so many people were hungry. Walmart made it okay for me; the cost was low.

That’s why Walmart had so many people in it, and I was grateful for the price. The residents are very excited about the festival. They deserve it.

 

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